Check out the first RuRu stories:
1) Death by RuRu
2) Update on Death by RuRu
The explosion ripped thru the Humvee. There was fire, men screaming, the smell of burning fuel and burning men. RuRu was thrown from the Humvee when the IED had detonated. He was crushed and broken…beyond repair. That’s the day he died.
RuRu was awake again. He couldn’t move or see. He had felt the sensation of floating in a warm bath then the cold of another. He was spinning around and around. He could hear people talking…machinery. He slept again. “So tired” he said to himself.
He came too during surgery. They were attaching a new body to his head. But, his new body had no hands, no legs, no arms or feet. What kinda bionic bullshit is this??!! He had no strength to worry about it now. He was helpless. He needed rest.
When he finally regained full consciousness and became aware of his surroundings, he realized he was hanging upside down with a bag over his head. Was he being tortured? Had he been captured and kept someplace? How long had he been out? He tried looking thru the plastic over his face, but he couldn’t focus his eyes. There was a bandage on the plastic bag. Probably his Dog Tag info he thought. He tried to read it, but it was backwards…it looked like it read 00.8$ or something. $8…what does that mean?
He had finally adjusted his vision when he looked around and saw he was in a Wal-Mart! “What the hell?” he said. “Am I back stateside?”
The familiar clatter of a shopping cart broke his thoughts. The cart stopped in front of him. A big, sexy, masculine man stood there looking at him. “What’s this douche bag want?” thought RuRu.
The man picked him up by his ankle and turned him right side up. Then, without a howdy-do the a-hole smacked RuRu’s head on the edge of the shopping cart! “Holy Shit!” “OW!” cried RuRu. The man stopped his swatting and brought RuRu’s wide orange face up to his. He was looking at RuRu with interest. The big sexy man said, more like a question really “You can talk?” RuRu said “Hell yeah I can talk!” “Why the hell are you beatin’ my face on a shopping cart? Can’t you see I’m freaking injured?”The man look puzzled.
“You…do know you’re a fly flap…right?” the big sexy man asked. RuRu said laughing “What the hell do you mean fly-flap? I’m a freaking M-4 in the United States Marine Corps!” The big sexy man said nothing. He laid RuRu down inside the shopping cart next to some gay British guy with purple hair (Did he say his name is Cullman?) and started walking, pushing the cart. All RuRu could see were the lights and rafters passing over his eyes as the big sexy man pushed the cart. They stopped in front of a wall of mirrors.
The big, sexy, masculine man picked up RuRu. He held RuRu in front of a mirror. “See?” the big sexy man said. RuRu couldn’t believe it. He had been “reincarnated” into a F’n fly flap! He had been an M-4 rifle in his previous life…a soldier’s weapon! He had served his country and he had been killed in action! And this is the thanks he gets?!
Re-incarnation sucks ass!!
RuRu couldn’t handle all this at once. He passed out.
When he woke up some time later he was in a big truck. The big sexy man was driving and talking to the gay guy Cullman. Cullman noticed that RuRu was awake and whispered something to the big sexy man. The big sexy man turned his head toward RuRu and gave him a quick, friendly smile. “Welcome aboard RuRu” he said. How’d he know my name? RuRu thought to himself. “I’m sure you got a lot of questions” the big sexy man continued, “And we’ll work them out together” he grinned
“There’s a lot of things that have started talking to me lately” he made a circling motion with his finger next to his head and crossed his eyes, “But, I said to myself…”Who am I to judge normal or not?!” This guy’s full of shit and nuttier than a squirrel turd, thought RuRu. The big sexy man looked back toward the highway “Oh…crap!” he yelled, jerking on the big wheel and tapping the brakes “Get off the F’n phone and pay attention shit-head!” the big sexy man screamed. RuRu looked at Cullman. Cullman was looking at the big sexy man with such adoration and love in his eyes that RuRu felt uncomfortable. “He’s such a splendid driver” Cullman cooed. RuRu looked away from him and turned to gaze out of the window of the big truck.
He said out loud “What am I supposed to do now?” his voice was hollow and stark he noticed. The highway stripes were whipping by like a long white ribbon, the hum of the big tires calming him somehow.
The big sexy man picked him up again, gently this time. RuRu looked at him. The big sexy man pushed his sunglasses back on his head. His pale, blue eyes exploring RuRu’s wide orange face. “I’ll give you a purpose RuRu” he said. He said it so softly. RuRu could tell this man could guide him on a new course. He didn’t know how he knew…he just did.
“What purpose?” he asked the big, sexy, masculine man.
“Murder” said Cullman.