The Sun was creeping thru the windows of my sleeper this morning.
Slowly crawling up my body like the hands of a passionate lover…
Oh…wait……That’s not my style of writing…let’s start over.
The sun came up….and it was good.
It was warm and bright…like light should be…and it was another beautiful day.
I was excited this morning.
No, not “morning wood” excited you bunch of pervs…! I was just excited for the new day and the things I had planned.
I lay there for a moment in my sleeper, perusing my thoughts, untangling myself from Fern and…oh, that’s right! I haven’t introduced y’all to Fern have I?
Fern is my 6’ long body pillow. She is blue and has a couple of tears in her seams. She is my bunk mate and secret lover. I am sure that there are things that only she knows, about the levels of depravities I must be capable of during my slumber. I shudder to think.
She is very tight lipped, thank God.
Well, after pushing that slut aside, I kicked off my blankets, gave a big stretch that almost made me black out, scratched my crotch…then my butt, gave a satisfied little poot, then rolled over onto my left side and looked out the front window of my truck.
Yep…the sun was up, and it was time to grace the world with my presence once again!
I was glad to be the one man on Earth that others could look up to.
A shining beacon of hope.
It is a thankless job, but Jesus said not to complain. “Look at what happened to me” he laughs…
I peered into the closet of my sleeper when loud shouting burst out into a deafening cacophony of sound.
“Pick me, Pick me!” my pants were screaming.
“No…pick me, pick me!” My shirts screamed back at them.
The shouting stopped.
I could see that all of my clothes were tingling with excitement as to which of them would get to create part of my ensemble and walk around with me all day, being appreciated by the masses.
After scolding them with my eyes for a second I reached out for a pair of blue jeans. The blue jeans fell from their hanger before I could touch them, crumpling to the floor. One of my shirts said “Oh my god, I think they passed out” Another shirt swooned “Oh, I would too if it had been me” They all giggled.
I told them to keep it down.
I reached down and picked up the swooning pair of jeans and snapping them like a WHIP! I slid them up my legs and hitched them up. I could feel the pants starting to tighten around my hoo ha’s and butt. “Knock it off…” I told the pants. They loosened with a sigh.
I started to reach for a shirt when I heard one pants leg whisper to the other “He’s not wearing any underwear, I could just die…” I slapped the
perverted pants leg. The fawning ceased.
I then noticed something…I reached around and had to pry and pull the perverted pants out of my crack. “Good grief, knock it off!” I shouted. They giggled.
Everybody wants a piece of me. I guess I shouldn’t blame them. I’d do me too if it wasn’t against the laws of nature.
I selected a light blue shirt after a red shirt I had started to pick first had said “Master, I think you should wear light blue today” I looked at Red crossly “Do you pretend to know thy Masters desires and dare question my choice!” I scolded sharply. Red whimpered “No Master, it’s such a sunny day and the sky is so blue, I was just thinking that a light blue shirt would complement thine own eyes”
“Dost thou attempt to brown-nose thy Master?’
I asked…a little amused. Red replied quickly”Why yes Master, of course”.
I laughed out loud, then said “You have spoken well Red Nike shirt, next time I wash you, I will use the hot cycle and hang you outside to dry in a nice breeze.” Red Nike shirt swooned and fell off the hanger.
I am a gracious Master.
I was now dressed. My clothes caressing my skin as I moved. “That’s better” I told them. They giggled.
Walking across the truck stop I had to admonish the pant’s as they kept tightening in the crotch and drawing back into my booty. “I will stop right now, take y’all off, and wear shorts all day! Would you like that!? Don’t make me get my belt!!….keep it up!”
They apologized profusley. “Suck asses” I thought.
I walked into the store and started to look around for my favorite snacks.
Fig Newton’s and Licorice.
As I was standing there, I sensed someone standing next to me.
It was a gorgeous woman. She was wearing a gray sweat-suit that fit her curvaceous form in all the right places. Her hair was black and a little tousled. She had on no make-up…and I thought she was beautiful
No, she WAS beautiful.
She must have sensed me looking down at her because she looked up at me…then smiled.
I was in love.
Before my eyes, she bent down and began rummaging around the bottom shelf for something. She didn’t kneel down. She was doing that bent over, arched back thingee that women do, thinking that they can control us….
Where was I at…? Oh…
I felt the crotch of my pants starting to get tight again. I whispered thru my clinched lips “I said to knock it off” I heard one pants leg say to the other “It’s not me” the other said “It’s ain’t me either”
I whispered…”Okay, my bad”
The beautiful woman found what she was looking for, and turning toward me, I could swear that I saw her skull moving just below her pale skin.
My mind was playing tricks on me…had to be. I could have sworn that just as she had started to turn towards me, I thought…I thought I had seen her tongue flick out a couple of times.
She was watching me. “Hi” she said. I looked down at what she had in her hands.
Midol and Excedrin.
My pants were already turning me toward the doors, shoving me out like a couple of Secret Service men, and screaming…“Run Away! Run Away!”
Blue Nike shirt began to sweat.
It was his first excursion into hostile country.
He didn’t make it.