Ironic….to say the least.
1) A Paranoid Schizophrenic with a REAL identical twin that is a CIA agent.
2) An OCD sufferer that gets stuck in a phone booth with a broken Rubik’s cube, while someone stands outside sneezing on the glass.
3) A Claustrophobic that works in a coal mine, ‘then’ finds out they’re claustrophobic.
4) A Delusional Parasitosis sufferer that works for a pest control company, and gets a spider in their hair.
5) A Hypochondriac that is really sick, but “knows” they are allergic to all medicines.
6) A Paranoid Hypochondriac that is really sick and writes blogs about being an HP sufferer…..and knows people think he’s sick writing about poop all the time.
7) A Kleptomaniac that has no fingers or pockets.
8) A Male Erectile Disorder sufferer with a little pecker.
9) A Münchausen Syndrome sufferer that lives forever…on a deserted island, with no Facebook or cell phone signal.
10) A Narcissistic Sufferer….? Some followers of my AWESOME BLOG think that I am full of myself. That could never happen…..Let’s just see shall we…?
- Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments. Yes
- Expects constant attention, admiration and positive reinforcement from others. Yes
- Envies others and believes others envy him/her. Half right
- Is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, intelligence. NO. Convinced is a better description…
- Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others. NO…Peasants must be placated.
- Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior. Is that the same thing as cocky? If so….YES
- Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic. Just desserts…
- An oversensitive temperament at birth; NO
- Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback; It’s all real baby
- Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for bad behaviors in childhood; NO
- Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents, other family members, or peers; NO
- Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or abilities by adults; Excellent taste
- Severe emotional abuse in childhood; YES
- Unpredictable or unreliable care-giving from parents; YES
- Learning manipulative behaviors from parents; YES
- Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem. YES
Dang….got to talking about myself again.
See what y’all make me do?
11) A Night Eating Syndrome sufferer that lives in Antarctica.
12) A Pyromaniac that works for a fire extinguisher company.
13) A Sadomasochist that is a Buddhist.
14) A Tourette Syndrome sufferer on their first trip to NYC
15) An Autophagia sufferer that suffers from Hemophobia and Algophobia… (Look it up)
From a Recovering Phobophobial Hypochondriatic Paranoia Sufferer
A Normal Guy….