Quick post this morning.

Massive headache.

Ironic….to say the least.

1) A Paranoid Schizophrenic with a REAL identical twin that is a CIA agent.

2)  An OCD sufferer that gets stuck in a phone booth with a broken Rubik’s cube, while someone stands outside sneezing on the glass.

3) A Claustrophobic that works in a coal mine, ‘then’ finds out they’re claustrophobic.

4) A Delusional Parasitosis sufferer that works for a pest control company, and gets a spider in their hair.

5) A Hypochondriac that is really sick, but “knows” they are allergic to all medicines.

6) A Paranoid Hypochondriac that is really sick and writes blogs about being an HP sufferer…..and knows people think he’s sick writing about poop all the time.

7) A Kleptomaniac that has no fingers or pockets.

8) A Male Erectile Disorder sufferer with a little pecker.

9) A Münchausen Syndrome sufferer that lives forever…on a deserted island, with no Facebook or cell phone signal.

10) A Narcissistic Sufferer….? Some followers of my AWESOME BLOG think that I am full of myself. That could never happen…..Let’s just see shall we…?

Symptoms….

• Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments. Yes
• Expects constant attention, admiration and positive reinforcement from others. Yes
• Envies others and believes others envy him/her. Half right
• Is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, intelligence. NO. Convinced is a better description…
• Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others. NO…Peasants must be placated.
• Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior. Is that the same thing as cocky? If so….YES
• Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic. Just desserts…

Causes…..

• An oversensitive temperament at birth;  NO
• Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback; It’s all real baby
• Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for bad behaviors in childhood; NO
• Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents, other family members, or peers; NO
• Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or abilities by adults; Excellent taste
• Severe emotional abuse in childhood; YES
• Unpredictable or unreliable care-giving from parents; YES
• Learning manipulative behaviors from parents; YES
• Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem. YES

Dang….got to talking about myself again.

See what y’all make me do?

11) A Night Eating Syndrome sufferer that lives in Antarctica.

12) A Pyromaniac that works for a fire extinguisher company.

13) A Sadomasochist that is a Buddhist.

14) A Tourette Syndrome sufferer on their first trip to NYC

15) An Autophagia sufferer that suffers from Hemophobia and Algophobia… (Look it up)

 

Yours Truly…

From a Recovering Phobophobial Hypochondriatic Paranoia Sufferer

A Normal Guy….