Running Man


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I have discovered the “new” cocaine and a great diet plan…..

Well, I don’t think I discovered it, I think it’s been around for thousands, maybe millions of years and I might have read about it (When I say “read”

I mean “listened”, for I am an Audio-book whore)

I did ‘read’ about it in a book titled “Born To Run – A Hidden Tribe, Super-athletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen” – by Christopher McDougall.

I won’t get into the specifics or content of the book (which I enjoyed thoroughly) but I will tell you this much…There is a lot to learn left in our world.

I love books that teach and entertain.

This book does both. That is my entire review.

Now….about the Chia seeds….and Pinole

In the book I brought up earlier, these Indian Runners from the deserts of North Western Mexico drink and eat a combination of Chia seeds and Pinole for energy provisions.

Here is a quick definition and description of each:chia-seed-benefits-list

Chia seeds: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chia_seeds

Pinole’: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinole

Pinole is basically a maize or corn food product. It’s benefits are basically the same as awesome.
You can’t get too fancy with corn.

But Chia….?

You can look it up and research it yourselves, but let me tell you what ‘I’ did.

I took 2 cups of water, 1.5 tbsps of Chia seeds, some coconut milk and lemon juice for tartness.

Chia seeds are very tiny until you soak them in water or liquid. Then they soak up the liquid and take on the resemblance of frog eggs or immature caviar spawn.

I will admit that they are not pretty to look upon after being soaked all night.images (76)

I took the water and seed mixture and left it in the fridge overnight. The next morning I drained out the water until it was even with the top level of the seeds. I then added the coconut milk and lemon juice to my taste standards.

Since I am a truck driver…I basically have no taste….

I drank the concoction.

It was a little different type of texture because of the seeds, but nothing worse than a smoothie or Carmel Macchiato from ‘Starbrokes’.

When I had finished the drink, I thought to myself that there could be all kinds of ways to improve the taste. The seeds in and of themselves have no flavor so you can mix them with anything you want, in whatever you want.
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But after about 30 minutes….I was ready to paint my nieces house, her neighbors house, change the motor in my semi-truck while baking cookies for India, write a new draft revising Obama Care, restructure the IRS and engineer world peace….

“This shit is good” I thought as my hair crawled around on my head…seemingly free to roam over my scalp at will ….it felt like my hairs were playing a
version of Chinese fire-drill, swapping follicle spots, setting them on fire….then moving to the next.

My mouth went dry….which is a good sign for us old speed freaks (you know who you are) and I started getting those damp little sweaty areas between my shoulder blades and the small of my back with a slight dash of moisture above the upper lip and forehead.

“Blood Pressure!” my amped brain screamed! I was firing on all levels…My inner Ninja and neurosurgeon on top of their game. I ran for my BP monitor….seconds from stroke and death! I checked my BP….It was normal.

My brain and body was freaking out, and my BP is normal?

I love this shit!!!

I FELT FUCKING GREAT!

I stayed this way for 7 hrs! download (61)

My niece told me to shut up several times and to quit spitting food on her when I talked.

My tongue was going faster than my lips evidently.

I haven’t had that much brain activity in I don’t know how long.

And I have not eaten hardly anything….even with tons of Thanksgiving leftovers available.

I heard the apple pie calling me, but I ignored it’s pleas for me to eat it.

It kept saying “Eat me!” “Eat Me!”, but to no avail….

Alas…..

Chia is awesome!

I no longer need coffee.

I have found a substitute, no….a savior.

Damn you Starbrokes! Damn you Mickey Dee’s!

I have found a much better and much healthier alternative to the swill that you pimp out to the unlearned and tortured individuals stuck in their
Happy Meal mindsets and their futile inability to grasp anything outside the realms of Fastfoodia.

One thing I should add….It’s almost $10 a pound.

You can get a whole buncha drinks out of a pound of these wonder seeds, and it’s worth EVERY FREAKING DIME!

I am writing this post….’jonahing’ about the next drink that has already been prepared and is sitting in my niece’s fridge.

I feel the urge of Jekyll for Hyde.download (62)

I can see myself on a street corner…”C’mon man….sell me a dime bag….how about 25 cents worth…? I’m hurtin’ man!”

Either way….these Chia seeds I’ve been telling you about is Moi Bueno Heap Big Much!

Look them up….give ‘em a shot….join me as a devout follower of the Chia Gods.

I’m gonna mix them with banana’s and strawberries in a couple of days, I’ll let you know what happens.

20 thoughts on “Running Man”

  1. Oh my god…seriously…this is the most awesome and hilarious review of a health food ever. I’ve heard of Chia seeds..I *think* I tried them…but I can’t remember..maybe not. I haven’t ever felt that way before..LOL.
    So yes I am going to get me some Chia seeds to try…I don’t fancy coconut milk though…hmm..maybe have it with honey and lemon or something like that.

    Thanks!!

    1. That sounds good. I’m hoping that mixing it with anything more than ‘light’ liquids won’t mess up potency. I wanted some this evening, but I knew I’d never get to sleep lol!

    1. I’d say go for it….Honestly, no BP effects. No glucose effects. That’s what surprised me. Try half of what I did. I am 6′ tall and weigh 250. I think you’ll be fine,but I know you’ll have your house clean in half the time and 2 new novels started! LOL!!

      1. It’s a more natural corn that I mix with the Chia to make palm sized fritters to eat when craving. I’ll email you my fritter and pudding recipe

      2. What are you babbling about so early? I haven’t even had my Chia ‘draft’ yet woman. Can’t a guy get some sleep without the most voluptuous woman North of Glasgow bothering him?

      3. Just drank my second Chia mix of the day as an experiment to see if it works as well. It’s been 10 hours since first glass. Will inform… Rene’ hates me….

  2. All I thought of was “ew gross, these remind me of fish eggs.” I forced myself to drink my juice concoction, but I don’t remember getting a rush… where’d you get your “stuff”? I like yours better! Email me that fritter and pudding recipe too! ct3sons@yahoo.com
    Where do you get your Pinole?

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