I was driving my big rig across a barren stretch of Arizona when I felt a kind of rumble in the steering wheel and a sensation of “greasiness” from the trailer I was towing behind me.
I caught what looked like a mirror flash out of the corner of my right eye and turned my head to see what was blinding me.
I can’t explain really….as I was turning my head to look at the mirror, a ‘push’ hit my face.
Like I had walked into somebody standing in front of me…
Then there was a black and green contrail that ripped by me from right to left, moving so fast that it looked like God had drawn a line across the sky with a marker.
I let off the throttle of the truck, dumbstruck and freaked out by what I had just seen.
The 4 fighter-jets that tore past about 2 seconds later, following the contrail were hauling ass.
They weren’t more than 100 feet off the ground.
I saw the American flag on their tail fins.
The shockwaves from the jets popped my ears as they passed; they were firing their guns and missiles!
There was a flash of light so bright across the horizon, that I went instantly blind.
With panic and fear and bile all exploding from me at the same time, I jammed on the brakes…standing up on them almost, trying to push them thru the floor board.
The green circles and black spots were pressing into my eyes when the monstrous shockwave hit.
The windows of my truck shattered, I felt it hitting me in my face like a hard slap, tearing at my eyes, lips and neck. Some of it I even swallowed as the truck started to drift into the ditch and slowly roll over.
As time slowed down, like it always does for me in intense moments, I saw the world start to turn counter-clockwise and I would swear to what looked like thousands of parachutes falling from the sky.
Grass, dirt, litter and asphalt came pouring thru the empty window frames with the power of a tide….The noise from the flash had busted both ear drums.
Instantly….I couldn’t breathe or move. I could tell the truck was still moving from the sensations, but I could also tell it was slowing down fast as it dug into the ditch bank.
The whole time this slow motion episode was happening I was clawing at my mouth and eyes to get out of the dirt and debris, to keep my face from getting smashed. This all happened in about 15 seconds, but it seemed like hours.
I was deaf, blind and trapped inside my truck and buried by the dirt that had been bulldozed thru the windows.
I couldn’t move my legs at all. I reached up to my face with my only free hand and tried to clean the dirt from my mouth, ears and eyes.
My vision was returning.
Probably it was my sunglasses that saved my eyesight.
I was still trying to pull myself free from my seatbelt. I was glad to find out that I could move my legs, that they seemed to be fine, just buried in dirt.
When the shadow fell over my face, I glanced up and saw a soldier looking down at me, gesturing at me with a machine gun of some type. From his movements I figured that he was telling me to get up.
I couldn’t hear him. I could barely see him.
So, he walked over and kicked me in my ribs and shot a couple of rounds close beside my head.
He reached down and grabbed me by my shirt and was attempting to pull me forcibly from my seatbelt, snatching at me with one hand, the other holding the rifle.
That’s when I noticed the pin on his lapel.
The fucking Canadians were invading the USA!
I head butted him in the balls when he bent down to get a better grip on me and he fell back, dropping his gun beside me, close to my one free hand.
I snatched it up and unloaded the entire magazine into him as he fell back onto the ground holding his nards.
There was no sound now except the drone of planes flying over very high, the thumps of distant explosions, the echo’s of the gunshots.
I could just make out a small bit of these sounds due to my ears being jacked up.
I could see much better, but I didn’t like what I saw.
I saw other soldiers running toward me; I saw them spot the soldier lying dead on the ground.
I looked at them, they looked at me.
“Fuck a buncha Canadians!” I screamed as I pumped hot lead and watched the Hosers dance.
God Bless America!
For Quiall…..I hope it made you giggle….