The meteor that tore thru the sky scared the shit out of me!
I was driving my big rig across a barren stretch of Arizona when I felt a kind of rumble in the steering wheel and a sensation of “greasiness” from the trailer I was towing behind me.
I caught what looked like a mirror flash out of the corner of my right eye and turned my head to see what was blinding me.
I can’t explain really….as I was turning my head to look at the mirror, a ‘push’ hit my face.
Like I had walked into somebody standing in front of me…
Then there was a black and green contrail that ripped by me from right to left, moving so fast that it looked like God had drawn a line across the sky with a marker.
I let off the throttle of the truck, dumbstruck and freaked out by what I had just seen.
The 4 fighter-jets that tore past about 2 seconds later, following the contrail were hauling ass.
They weren’t more than 100 feet off the ground.
I saw the American flag on their tail fins.
The shockwaves from the jets popped my ears as they passed; they were firing their guns and missiles!
There was a flash of light so bright across the horizon, that I went instantly blind.
With panic and fear and bile all exploding from me at the same time, I jammed on the brakes…standing up on them almost, trying to push them thru the floor board.
The green circles and black spots were pressing into my eyes when the monstrous shockwave hit.
The windows of my truck shattered, I felt it hitting me in my face like a hard slap, tearing at my eyes, lips and neck. Some of it I even swallowed as the truck started to drift into the ditch and slowly roll over.
As time slowed down, like it always does for me in intense moments, I saw the world start to turn counter-clockwise and I would swear to what looked like thousands of parachutes falling from the sky.
Grass, dirt, litter and asphalt came pouring thru the empty window frames with the power of a tide….The noise from the flash had busted both ear drums.
Instantly….I couldn’t breathe or move. I could tell the truck was still moving from the sensations, but I could also tell it was slowing down fast as it dug into the ditch bank.
The whole time this slow motion episode was happening I was clawing at my mouth and eyes to get out of the dirt and debris, to keep my face from getting smashed. This all happened in about 15 seconds, but it seemed like hours.
I was deaf, blind and trapped inside my truck and buried by the dirt that had been bulldozed thru the windows.
I couldn’t move my legs at all. I reached up to my face with my only free hand and tried to clean the dirt from my mouth, ears and eyes.
My vision was returning.
Probably it was my sunglasses that saved my eyesight.
I was still trying to pull myself free from my seatbelt. I was glad to find out that I could move my legs, that they seemed to be fine, just buried in dirt.
When the shadow fell over my face, I glanced up and saw a soldier looking down at me, gesturing at me with a machine gun of some type. From his movements I figured that he was telling me to get up.
I couldn’t hear him. I could barely see him.
So, he walked over and kicked me in my ribs and shot a couple of rounds close beside my head.
He reached down and grabbed me by my shirt and was attempting to pull me forcibly from my seatbelt, snatching at me with one hand, the other holding the rifle.
That’s when I noticed the pin on his lapel.
A Red Maple Leaf!
The fucking Canadians were invading the USA!
I head butted him in the balls when he bent down to get a better grip on me and he fell back, dropping his gun beside me, close to my one free hand.
I snatched it up and unloaded the entire magazine into him as he fell back onto the ground holding his nards.
There was no sound now except the drone of planes flying over very high, the thumps of distant explosions, the echo’s of the gunshots.
I could just make out a small bit of these sounds due to my ears being jacked up.
I could see much better, but I didn’t like what I saw.
I saw other soldiers running toward me; I saw them spot the soldier lying dead on the ground.
I looked at them, they looked at me.
“Fuck a buncha Canadians!” I screamed as I pumped hot lead and watched the Hosers dance.
God Bless America!
For Quiall…..I hope it made you giggle….
Everything Hurts & I'm Dying 
I had to comment on this one.
I was so going “Red Dawn” here. Scared. Teeth chattering, knuckles white.
Then you brought out the maple leaf and all tension was resolved. I didn’t even know the Canadians had jet fighters much less guns. Wow! who knew. (Just funning with you guys, no offense).
Love your imagination. By the way, since you had dirt in your mouth, probably a good idea to wash you mouth out with soap. You know you have been due for this for some time.
Peace & Love
Hush child
Scottishmomus hates me again
Why? I didn’t know she ever hated you once.
She’s very passionate and moody
I am sure she loves you still. She is Scottish, and we have to make allowance for them you know. Now she is going to read this and hate both of us. Well, not me so much, as I keep giving her Hughman each day. Now she is asking me what states allow bigamy. I told her on the outskirts of Utah and Nevada. Got any thoughts? Then you could get back into her good graces.
I would think that my love and grace would be enough for you. I guess not.:( Alas, perhaps I am not all that I thought I was. LOL
I’m too needy. Tell her that Lehi, Utah is a good polygamous compound.
Got it. thanks. I will tell her you offered this suggestion. Now, I wonder if the Hughman is into moving his family to Lehi to be with a silly Scottish woman. LOL
Quote directly from Scottishmomus fingers: “Why would I be mad at him? Seriously, he’s worse than a wean! Yes, you are, Trey if you’re reading this. I don’t do mad very often. Eejit! Lol. 🙂 x”
I told you both that I was high maintenance before you took me under your wings.
Well, dear sir, we love you, but we too have our own needs. Now she has a husband and a crew of chillins’ to cater to her needs. I just have my little crew of four-footers. I am sure she will be at your feet groveling for your mercy tomorrow. Right now she is considering going cold turkey off of the Hughman. Tense stuff.
Dang….I know what its like going cold turkey.
She has asked me not to make her do so. I just think she needs to shop the man candy store a little better. I mean I sure the hell do! Oh, and don’t get your panties all in a bunch. You are THE bestest man candy in Word Pressia.
( In a resigned, somewhat melancholy tone)
Yeah….I know
Well! I never! Well, I did actually, but don’t tell anyone.
I get a resigned tone for voting you the bestest man candy in Word Pressia. Don’t let it go to your head. Jeez. ;p
Where are you now?
Franklin freezing, Ohio
Well, I would have had a much different word for the descriptor, but I get where and how you are. Do you carry a heating blanket with you in the truck?
Keep those fingers warm. Don’t want to hear you froze them and now you can’t write. At the Harley store I saw a real cool pair of gloves (and socks) which you could plug into the cigarette lighter to keep warm.
I am not only narcissistic but a closet doomsdayer. I have everything in this truck. I think I’ll list everything in a future post. Here’s 2 items I have…. Long bow, scuba gear… Oh, and 3 month supply of food.
The supply of food sounds good. I am not so sure where the scuba gear and long bow comes in. I guess you are very regulated as to what type of weapons you can have on board. I would think a knife, Bowie or the sort, would be more practical, but perhaps that is not allowed. I know the guns are not. Since you are going down this road, you should also have a Survival Strap bracelet. I have one on at all times. Never know when I will need to pull a dog out of a raging river or the like, especially in Las Vegas. http://www.survivalstraps.com/men/original-survival-straps/survival-bracelet-fishtail.html
I have 6
You have 6 of these? Too cool. I wanted a solid black and a solid purple at the time I got mine. I could only afford one though, so I got the two braided together. I kinda’ wanted one for Vets, but thought the tag would bother me.
This started out grim, but made me laugh by the end. I guess some Canadians saw John Candy’s Canadian Bacon and took it too seriously. “Fuck that shit,” they must have thought, “we’ll invade *them* instead.” Idiots!
The evil plan revealed! Lol!