My niece Wendy Sue just told me that she has cervical cancer.
I don’t know what to say or think.
I burped her when she was a baby.
Years later, I have done the same with her kids.
I think I’m in shock….
I told her I didn’t want to know about it, I don’t want it to be real……
Is it wrong for me to hate God now…?
Or trust in his “plan”….?
I’m really angry with him now.
She says that she is having a biopsy done the day after Christmas.
They will tell her what stage her cancer is in….
My Wendy Sue has 4 kids.
She is the most sensitive and tender girl/woman I have ever known.
She is beautiful…….and she loves her Uncle Trey.
She has been there for me thru all of my drunken phone calls, my rehabs, my active alcoholism and more things I can think of.
She laughs when she tells me about those drunken calls I used to make to her in the middle of the night, half a world away, and sing to her……
And now…..God is trying to take her from me.
I know that the abnormal cells may be nothing at all, and that the biopsy will reveal more information.
But I don’t care about that.
I’ve lost enough in this life Lord….
Don’t take the girl….
Leave her here with me Lord, and I promise I will devote the remainder of my life to the service of others.
Damn the pay, Damn the insurance, Damn the retirement….Damn it all….
Just leave her be….
Leave her alone! I beg you to call it off….
I will fight you for her……
Better yet….take me in trade.
Is it out of your hands? Do you have nothing to do with this, or am I just praying to messy blankets and a pillow?
Sometimes I get so mad when I hear “Thy will be done”.
I’m sorry I’m so upset and angry and that I’m taking it out on you Lord….
But you know how I am and you know what’s in my heart…..
She’s a part of my heart Lord.
If you take that part from me, then just take it all because I will have no need for it anymore other than to live….
And miss my Wendy Sue….
I’m going to pray to my pillow some more, and maybe cry a little.
Or tell me she’ll be okay.
Don’t take my Wendy Sue….
21 thoughts on “Don’t Take the Girl”
I cannot like this post because it is too heart-wrenching. I lost Mom to cancer 5 years ago and yes, I was angry at God, more angry at those – family and doctors included – that declared that, because of her age, she should not fight and be allowed to go in peace. But it was by any means peaceful the way she went. It still hurts, still is hard especially around this time of year. There is no time limit on pain, no expiration date on loss, and I hope with all my hopes that your niece will be okay. More importantly, NEVER STOP FIGHTING!! NO MATTER what doctors or anyone says you cannot stop fighting. Send positive thoughts and beat anyone with a shovel that sends otherwise, becomes all gloom and doom and begins preparing for the worst. You must expect the best in the situations, KNOW it will be fine, and NOT EVER think things will go wrong. Mom survived having a 10lb tumor removed from her abdomen and was back driving and working a month later – she was 75. Then she developed a staph infection in her stint (I FULLY blame the hospital for this and wanted to sue, but since my sister had power of attorney, felt helpless) and things went downhill from there. I nearly punched a doctor for saying that she’d be better off going in her sleep, that we should just give up. My sister did, but I never did. So, yeah, still a lot of bitterness there regarding that, but I tend to bury it.
I regret posting this now….It was a knee jerk reaction. It could be nothing….But, I love that kid like crazy.
*hugs* It’s understandable – cancer is like the worst thing possible and I cannot bear hearing others go thru it after going thru it myself. I have nothing but good thoughts for Miss Wendy Sue 🙂
Your love comes out like crazy, Trey. I will be hoping with all my might that it’s nothing, moral support from Syracuse.
Thx bro. I regret posting it now because it was a stupid knee Jersey reaction. I just love that girl soo much you know? If anyone is capable of hoping for the best it will be me…
I don’t like this at all. There are times when I yell at God, “I wouldn’t do this to your kid!” when my daughter, who is in chronic pain, is undergoing another excruciating day. I know better. I know God doesn’t cause this pain. It’s something that just happens to all of us in the process of living, but He is there for us to turn to for solace and prayer. Remember, this is not about you; it is about Wendy Sue. Your job is to listen, listen, listen,to encourage, to do whatever is required for her peace of mind, for her treatment.for whatever is needed in your power to accomplish. Cancer is the dreaded disease. I know. I had kidney cancer and one removed but was told that some cells escaped and may show up one day in another part of my body. it’s something I live with quietly. The trick is to enjoy every day with people I like and love being with. I’ll pray for Wendy Sue and you. Courage, Trey, courage.
I know…. I’m sorry… It was a knee jerk reaction. I told Wendy she can count on me and she said she knew. I told her I regretted posting it as soon as I had but she wasn’t upset with me. She knows I’m a big cry baby….
Hopefully your post/prayer is answered
Thx BG. I plan on her doing fine!
It’s okay to be angry with God…I think it’s “normal” you know? I think He understands too.
Please let us know what happens okay?
Knee jerk reaction. Like I said, he knows how I am….
ok..still…keep us update, ‘kay? Sending her lots of love and light 🙂
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. My thoughts go out to you both.
Thx…. Long way to go
Trey, I am pleased to tell you that I’ve awarded you the Blog of the Year Award 2013! There’s no obligation to accept, I understand completely if you don’t. Anyway, thanks for reading and liking my blog “adicanada” I appreciate your support. For details about the award, please see my post http://wp.me/p3ujR2-hg Have a Happy Holiday and All the best for you on the New Year!! Adrian B.
Oh, Trey! My heart is breaking!! For you. For Wendy Sue. For her husband and children.
He understands your anger, Trey, and believe me, he is big enough to handle it.
I am so sorry you and your family are having to go through this!!
I will pray with you, and the others, that God will grant health and healing to Wendy Sue. I believe in the power of prayer and I know God hears us when we pray.
So, LORD God, I ask you for a different diagnosis than cervical cancer, in the Name of Jesus. Ephesians 1 tells us the name of Jesus is above every name that is named in heaven, on earth and under the earth. Cervical cancer is a name, and it is below the name of Jesus. It is in subjection to the name of Jesus, and I put it there, under the feet of Jesus Christ. Father, thank you for hearing our prayers. Thank you for answering, in the name of Jesus.
Please, keep us posted!!!
Thx, I will
Sending warm wishes her way and yours. Faith in her ability to fight whatever odds are against her is important regardless of other faith.