All I Want For Christmas


Dear Santa,

I know you’ve already left your house and started the toy run around the world, but I’d like to get this letter in before the next rush hits.

I apologize for this underhanded tactic of sliding this letter in before everyone else’s gets delivered or they have any time to think about next year’s haul.

I know that when you read this you are probably worn out, rode hard and put up wet.

I won’t keep you long, because I don’t have much to ask.

Dear Santa….

I’d like to have my family back please.

I didn’t get to have that many Christmases with them because I am an alcoholic.

I was more worried about shutting out my life than opening my life to them.

I still see them in their little footie PJ’s sitting around a little tree with a tin foil star.

They’d shake the presents, try to guess what it is, ask me or their mom what it is, and we’d laugh and say;

“Just open it silly”…

I’m crying now in real time….I don’t know why.   I guess I do really……

I guess because I’m sorry that I missed it all…..Even when I was there.Image

They have babies of their own now, and my children are wiser….

They ask me “I could never leave my kids or not be there for them, how could you?”

“I never left you baby” I say now……Sitting alone in Wyoming.

A truck stop sign is my blinking tree.

One day I might forgive myself for being a weak man when it counted most….

I don’t see it happening, but it could.Image

Dear Santa,

I’ve changed my mind.

Bring my children a bag full of happiness, and fill their lives with love and memories.

Bring my children smiles and laughter, pride in their children, and joy.


Bring my grandchildren every minute, filled with trust and faith in their Moms and Dads.

Bring my children and their children together under a big Christmas tree, with a real star.

Let them share each other’s life, and never be far apart from one another….Image

And if you can….Maybe a thought for a lonely truck driver in Wyoming….

A man that is thinking of them too……and can still smell the little Christmas tree.

That’s all I want Santa…..

That’s all I want.

Merry Christmas…..

Stephanie, Courtney, Ryan and Logan.

Dad loves you…..Forever….and the day after that.

11 thoughts on “All I Want For Christmas”

  1. I almost started to rag on you about one of your opening statements, then I saw this was your heart. I stopped and read it real slow, some lines twice (for the dyslexia). Ok, you have me cryin’ and Trey, it is hard to make me cry.

    I have always believed in my heart that if what I wish for another is of an altruistic good, then it shall be. I wish for my mum to forgive herself, and I believe that whatever power may be, there will be a way shown to her in order to help this occur. Likewise for you: You wish for only good things for your kids and g-kids: so shall it be. Believe this with all your heart, and your will feel lighter as the positive energy flows from you to your kids.

    I am up with Restless Leg right now. I will log onto FB and check if you want to chat.

    Peace & Love
    and Forgiveness in yourself

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