Disclaimer: I Was Sober When I Wrote This…


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I am scum….

I am vermin….

I am Jell-o with the sticky bottom….

I wish that I could read all the blogs that interest me every day.

But the whole work thing, eating thing, sleeping thing and other stuff things cut my reading time down to a bare minimum.

I’m not going to lie to you…..Reading ANYTHING….!

I don’t care if it is captivating, spell-binding, intriguing, cutting edge or has ‘necked’ women in it….If the words are on a screen or paper; it has a biblical effect on me.

Biblical Effect ≥ Sleep…..

There are so many awesome people that read what little things I post about and follow my blog with interest and kind suggestions that I feel guilty I can’t read all their stuff.

I ignore the comments that say…”Kill yourself” or “Hack” or “Learn about plot lines” or “Quit writing about poop”

Well, I did heed the last one….

That’s why I am a total, avid audio-book listener.

I have ‘read’ over 300 titles in 3 years!

The audio versions keep my mind in the stories….I can “see” the stories unfold.

When I was in the 5th grade, my teacher….Mrs. Salter, told my mom that I had audio-sensory deprivation or something like that.

In a nut shell it had something to do with “If I heard it, I could remember it or do it, verbatim.

Total Recall……

If my only input was to read the material, the recall was ‘tainted’ and I wouldn’t understand the intricacies of the subject matter.

I don’t think it’s as prevalent now as then, but the only drawback from those times is that if I have to read anything, I’ll be asleep in less than 5 minutes.

No shit…..

Better than Quaaludes baby!

Reading the Bible puts me in a coma. I didn’t even know who had killed Able until I listened to the bible on an audio edition!

But for the record………I always suspected Cain.

Anywho….

I promise that I will try and read more blogs per week.

I have a new approach.

I can imitate several accents very well due to the constant bombardment of audio-books and the artists who narrate them, so I am going to read them aloud to myself in differing voices and styles.

Make it fun….and kinda interactive for me.

I want to be an avid reader of you guyzez stuff, but it is physically impossible!

I believe that my new idea will help me accomplish this ‘resolution’ of mine.

I feel as cheap as a $3 hooker on coupon night when all I can do is hit “like” and not leave a comment because I am trying to read as many posts as I can before I lose consciousness.

Gross….I just dropped part of a boiled egg into my shoe.    BRB

Okay….

So…how come I can write but not read?

If any of you out there can honestly say that you get sleepy enough to pass out while in your creative juices then you….are a liar!

Writing is a spiritual act.

Just follow me here for a second, and see if what I say relates to you.

A)     I never know what I am going to write until I start. I might have an inspiration for a story or yarn, but 9 times out of 10…it goes a “whole nuther way” (That’s Confederate speak)

B)      When I am writing or in the “flow” I kinda ‘phase out’….You know what I mean? It’s hard to explain it and I am not as scholarly or learned as most of you, so expressing the meaning of said occurrence is beyond my humble education. (Is that right?)

C)      I couldn’t plan out a story if my life depended on it! My stories spread across the screen as if I had spilled coffee over paper. Once I get started, I don’t stop.

D)     I laugh at my stories

E)      I cry with my stories

F)      My stories set me free.

I am amazed at the talent I have witnessed this past year on WordPress.

I would kneel down and kiss the asses of the Creators of this wonderful medium if I ever met them because they have given me a healing power that I never knew existed.

Did you know that if you had told me a year ago that I would have a blog, write over 200 stories and poems, accumulate almost 250 enlightened followers, I would have turned around and punched you in the balls and ask “Did you just call me a fag?”

I don’t even remember how I got started on WordPress.

I think I read something on The Community Story Board and liked the stories I saw.

I wrote a story about a dream I had and cried while I was writing it.

That had never happened to me before.

WordPress…hmmmm

I was going to share my life with complete strangers.

I was going to put my heart on my sleeve for all of the .com world to see.

I was going to show you the darkness, the light, the dread, the faith….the love I have in my soul.

With words…..

The only true way I can express myself.

I know that most people that followed my blog were just passing through, and hit the ‘follow’ button and never looked back, and I’m cool with that.

P.S    Kiss my butt….Just saying.

No, I shouldn’t be judgmental…..Maybe they get sleepy too….I’ll tell them Cain did it.

But there are the ones who always give me comments and encouragement without fail.

It was my first gracious comment on “Dreams”, that I ever received, that showed me that there were people who are out there that didn’t give a hoot nor holler that I am just a truck driver and dormant alcoholic.

My dear friends and people that dwell in the Land of WordPressia…..Dear…Kind…People

Be safe tonight…..please.

Give a little prayer of thanks for one more year past and a new one just past 12.

See you on the other side of midnight….

God willing and the creek don’t rise….

21 thoughts on “Disclaimer: I Was Sober When I Wrote This…”

  1. Well, I was just going to hit ‘like’ and then leave through the back door, but the damn thing won’t load right so I have to leave a friggin’ comment. I LIKE THIS ONE.

      1. Pluuuzzze! I was watching Downton Abbey. Kind of important if I am ever going to incarnate as British aristocracy. LOL No, really, mum got me a D.A. calendar, not sure why, just I understand the Brits perhaps. She can’t understand simple British accents on a movie, much less a whole bunch of people speaking real British, no Americans, and no other drams to entertain, not even Johnny Depp. She got really mad when he could speak with the accent ‘cuz she couldn’t understand him then either.
        I am sure out of your over 200 followers people have given your work their blessing. Do you realize how good that makes you? The over 200 followers? I have just about 176, and they seldom comment or like more than 1 or 2 things. I have a few hanger’oners, but not many. You write so much better than me. I think about writing then think back to your words about crying and sob stories. I just don’t have the inspiration you do, or the ability. Oh, I can write legal documents and arguments for cases without blinking an eye, and they are damn good, so says my attorneys. But the creative avenue has always been a dark path, and that is why I don’t write a lot. I choose to not dwell on the dark path, so I don’t want to write or talk about it a lot.
        I am so glad you are getting good use out of the media source. I thought I would too, for some of the same reasons who do. I started really reading what a lot of other bloggers were writing about and decided more talk of PTSD, Fibro, Lupus, Pain Mgmt., abuse, etc. was not needed. I tend to shy away from bloggers who write too much of the above simply because I don’t want to be thinking about it all the time.
        I thank you for your wonderful posts, and I have enjoyed reading all of them, even the ones about poop. I actually thought you were channeling your inner 12 year old at those times, and I am cool with that.

        Peace & Love

      2. I like your opinions, and it makes me dizzy that you’re not….dizzy.
        I think chicks with brains are hot!
        Remember….I am only INANE
        You my dear, are substantive….
        (I spelled that without help thank you very mcuh!)

      3. I am impressed you spelled substantive without looking it up. I didn’t really learn how to spell it without cheating until I hit my Master’s learning. Then it was all about the statistics and big words just kept popping out of no where.
        You are inane, and perhaps soon you will come to spell thingy correctly as well. This is a new year by the way.
        I don’t know if I would go any where near the description of ‘hot’ for me. I do have brains, they just seem to live in the ‘gator infested swamps most of the time.
        Oh, and recently (since the whole closet door escapade) I have been dizzy more often. Hmmm…

      4. Hmmm….. I forgot about that.

        I did like the whole “My Sun is up, my breakfast is blue, My gold green earth has been born anew” verse. I thought it was pretty and and after I re-read it, I figured you’d get a kick out of it.
        Thx for being so sweet to me….

      5. It is my mood today, so take it when it comes. LOL

        I do love the way you can see words, part of your gift, and place them so they compliment each other. Like painting in a real way.

      6. Kiss ma and pa and little Bud and have a good New Years night. My bunch is making us take a mandatory shutdown from 10pm – 6 am to avoid all the sober people.

  2. Hate to break in on you and Rene’s tete a tete here, Trey, but it seems like you read her comments fine without going off to sleepyland. Just saying. Dude, if you ever start needing a voice to put to my blogs, remember to give it just a bit of dese, dem’s and dozes, born in Brooklyn style. Happy New Year from upstate New York, where I try like hell to say these, them and those. Happy New Year, writer-trucker.

  3. Yeah, we knew you liked us.

    I, for one, am glad that I stumbled across your comment on Chris Martin Writes blog one day. Don’t really remember what was said, but it intrigued me enough to “check you out.” I’m glad I did. You have given me laughter in a year that has brought me a lot of sadness and tears. I looked forward to reading your posts. Thank you, my trucker-writer-blogger friend, who just happens to have my sons name.

    Keep writing! And, glad you will begin the new year safely!

    Happy 2014!

  4. Hehe…Happy New Year to you too! Be safe and it’s cool about falling asleep while reading…I did that with school books..lol.
    Glad you stumbled on to WordPress too!

    1. Where you been girl? I thought you deserted me! Ever since you got all famous with that magazine gig you just forgot all of the little people! Lol!
      Don’t you know how much I need you to stroke my ego!? I hope you’re doing well on your side of the world and hold up at least 20% of your resolutions!
      Don’t ever leave me unattended like that again! Lol!

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