I am scum….
I am vermin….
I am Jell-o with the sticky bottom….
I wish that I could read all the blogs that interest me every day.
But the whole work thing, eating thing, sleeping thing and other stuff things cut my reading time down to a bare minimum.
I’m not going to lie to you…..Reading ANYTHING….!
I don’t care if it is captivating, spell-binding, intriguing, cutting edge or has ‘necked’ women in it….If the words are on a screen or paper; it has a biblical effect on me.
Biblical Effect ≥ Sleep…..
There are so many awesome people that read what little things I post about and follow my blog with interest and kind suggestions that I feel guilty I can’t read all their stuff.
I ignore the comments that say…”Kill yourself” or “Hack” or “Learn about plot lines” or “Quit writing about poop”
Well, I did heed the last one….
That’s why I am a total, avid audio-book listener.
I have ‘read’ over 300 titles in 3 years!
The audio versions keep my mind in the stories….I can “see” the stories unfold.
When I was in the 5th grade, my teacher….Mrs. Salter, told my mom that I had audio-sensory deprivation or something like that.
In a nut shell it had something to do with “If I heard it, I could remember it or do it, verbatim.
If my only input was to read the material, the recall was ‘tainted’ and I wouldn’t understand the intricacies of the subject matter.
I don’t think it’s as prevalent now as then, but the only drawback from those times is that if I have to read anything, I’ll be asleep in less than 5 minutes.
Better than Quaaludes baby!
Reading the Bible puts me in a coma. I didn’t even know who had killed Able until I listened to the bible on an audio edition!
But for the record………I always suspected Cain.
I promise that I will try and read more blogs per week.
I have a new approach.
I can imitate several accents very well due to the constant bombardment of audio-books and the artists who narrate them, so I am going to read them aloud to myself in differing voices and styles.
Make it fun….and kinda interactive for me.
I want to be an avid reader of you guyzez stuff, but it is physically impossible!
I believe that my new idea will help me accomplish this ‘resolution’ of mine.
I feel as cheap as a $3 hooker on coupon night when all I can do is hit “like” and not leave a comment because I am trying to read as many posts as I can before I lose consciousness.
Gross….I just dropped part of a boiled egg into my shoe. BRB
So…how come I can write but not read?
If any of you out there can honestly say that you get sleepy enough to pass out while in your creative juices then you….are a liar!
Writing is a spiritual act.
Just follow me here for a second, and see if what I say relates to you.
A) I never know what I am going to write until I start. I might have an inspiration for a story or yarn, but 9 times out of 10…it goes a “whole nuther way” (That’s Confederate speak)
B) When I am writing or in the “flow” I kinda ‘phase out’….You know what I mean? It’s hard to explain it and I am not as scholarly or learned as most of you, so expressing the meaning of said occurrence is beyond my humble education. (Is that right?)
C) I couldn’t plan out a story if my life depended on it! My stories spread across the screen as if I had spilled coffee over paper. Once I get started, I don’t stop.
D) I laugh at my stories
E) I cry with my stories
F) My stories set me free.
I am amazed at the talent I have witnessed this past year on WordPress.
I would kneel down and kiss the asses of the Creators of this wonderful medium if I ever met them because they have given me a healing power that I never knew existed.
Did you know that if you had told me a year ago that I would have a blog, write over 200 stories and poems, accumulate almost 250 enlightened followers, I would have turned around and punched you in the balls and ask “Did you just call me a fag?”
I don’t even remember how I got started on WordPress.
I think I read something on The Community Story Board and liked the stories I saw.
I wrote a story about a dream I had and cried while I was writing it.
That had never happened to me before.
I was going to share my life with complete strangers.
I was going to put my heart on my sleeve for all of the .com world to see.
I was going to show you the darkness, the light, the dread, the faith….the love I have in my soul.
The only true way I can express myself.
I know that most people that followed my blog were just passing through, and hit the ‘follow’ button and never looked back, and I’m cool with that.
P.S Kiss my butt….Just saying.
No, I shouldn’t be judgmental…..Maybe they get sleepy too….I’ll tell them Cain did it.
But there are the ones who always give me comments and encouragement without fail.
It was my first gracious comment on “Dreams”, that I ever received, that showed me that there were people who are out there that didn’t give a hoot nor holler that I am just a truck driver and dormant alcoholic.
My dear friends and people that dwell in the Land of WordPressia…..Dear…Kind…People
Be safe tonight…..please.
Give a little prayer of thanks for one more year past and a new one just past 12.
See you on the other side of midnight….
God willing and the creek don’t rise….