Dream Study: Flying

This is the first submission of “Dream Study”

I have 5 basic dreams

A)      I am a superhero that can fly, but can’t land worth a crap.

B)      Tornados

C)      Murder

D)     Atmospheric roller coaster that I always fall out of

E)      Hell

They all seem to look kinda depressing now that I glance back over them.

Today I will discuss and examine:

1)      Un-Landing Superhero

I can fly.

I don’t recall any other superpowers in these episodes, but even in real life I always felt like I could fly.

Too bad I’m scared of heights…..

That’s why I sleep on the floor.

This dream is so convincing that when I wake up from one of them, I actually think it may be possible for me to become airborne if I could just figure out the whole physics thingee.

Gravity is not my friend.

In real life it has recently tried to cripple or kill me several times.

It just sits there waiting for me….like a cash strapped relative.

Watch that first step Treydawg, You freaking klutz!

I freely admit that I’m not the best flyer in the world of dreams, but at least I’m able to get off terra firma and cruise around for a bit.

It’s beautiful up there….So peaceful.

Until I throw up that is….

I sit on clouds, I hover above the moon’s surface, I take selfies with my cell phone in the reflection of the Arctic seas, I soar thru the dream skies with the grace of an eagle, but….for some ungodly reason I still seem to be subject to turbulence.

Picture me flying thru clear blue skies and the cosmos, passing by Jupiter and around the sun then suddenly getting green around the gills and puking in an air sickness bag.

Every time!

I puke when I’m flying in my dreams….

I don’t ever puke when I’m on a real plane.

I don’t get it….

Well, unless I puke from too many mini-bottles and beer due to the whole “I hate to fly” thingee.

Anyhows…..

I’ve never seen Superman come flying into a crisis situation only to smash into the ground right before he lands because of wind shear.

That reminds me…How come you can shoot Superman several times and not hurt him, but he ducks when you throw the empty gun at him…?

Just a thought….

Anywho….

Picture Superman flying down, trumpets are blaring, ominous, rousing music heralds his arrival, people cheering and throwing their hats in the air “He’s coming to save the world!” And right as he starts to land you see him kinda flap his arms a little bit, kicking his legs, his eyes growing wild and you hear him shout “Oh Shit!” and he crashes into pavement.

It’d be funny as hell to see, but Superman isn’t bothered by mere elements.

Only a green rock…

My only weakness, as far as I know, is belly-button lint.

I avoid it and never touch it.

I pretend it isn’t there, although it’s cool watching it swirl around in the bath water like a hairy little Kraken.

So that’s what happens to me in my superhero dreams….

I fly like a Sumbitch but take out houses, buildings, cars and old people when I try to land.

(Lot’s of barns too now that I think about it a little more, what’s that all about me wonder?)

I seem to roll for a long time too after I crash….or land.

Interpret that….!

 

P.S

 Tune in tomorrow for “Tornados!” and why they suck.

(Get it?)  ; )