Top 5 Childhood memories:
1) When my Dad taught me how to swim down at Johnson’s Mill in Harris County, Georgia. It wasn’t as hard or scary as I thought it would be. The only tough part was holding my breath long enough to get out of that burlap sack with all those kittens and bricks in it.
2) When my Mom gave me sage advice about how important it is to keep my person and room clean, and how that would let people know that I was tidy and well brought up. “After all” she said, “It’s hard to get on the bus with broken legs.” She’s so smart….
3) When my Mom made me stand in the corner and told me “Don’t you come out of that corner until you can learn how to behave”. Since I was only 4 years old and didn’t know what ‘behave’ meant I didn’t move. I spent the next few months really finding out who I am inside and the value of meditation. I also learned how to whistle, blow water bubbles and hold my pee like a grown up. Thanks Mom….I’m the man I am today because of you…..
4) When I learned that you can eat everything on your plate except what you didn’t like. I was glad about this at first until my mom said “Little kids in Africa would kill for that food you’re turning your nose up at” Tomatoes, Brussels sprouts, liver and onions are much tastier with guilt. Now that I’m grown, I say “Piss on a buncha Africa” and spit it out. Mom lives in Florida, right?
5) When my parents taught me not to play with myself….warning me that I would go blind and I ;lwdvghoief wehp phewehpopg8y weupojssvp efghoovj2
W89s;cvnn566d kebp4/855d .
I didn’t believe it then and I don’t believe it now.
Everything Hurts & I'm Dying 
My dad read The Lord of the Rings books to me and my brothers.
One time in my young teens I was trimming the hedges with our electric trimmer and cut the thick orange extension cord. My first reaction was to grab the cord to jerk it out of the clippers. After I picked myself up off the ground and rubbed the bits of burned skin out of my ears, I could hear my father complaining about how the hedgeline was crooked and I better get the duct tape because he didn’t want to buy a new cord.
LOL! How’d that duct tape work out as an insulator?
Dad had to spring for a new one before I could get that hedgeline even enough to satisfy his standards. He was also great for getting out of his from work, finding me in the house, and complaining that my lawn mow lines weren’t straight enough. And the dude was never even in the military.
What worries me are the memories my kids will have when they’re adults. Like the time when our son came home with a bloody nose from playing ball, and we photographed it for Facebook before cleaning it. Or when he said he wasn’t feeling well, and if he could stay home from school if he was still sick in the morning – I told him that unless he was coughing up blood, he was going to school. When our 12-year old daughter said she wanted a unicorn for Christmas, we wrapped a spam-like novelty can, which held a small stuffed unicorn doll cut up into 10 pieces.
Dammit man… LOL!
Geez, I hope you saved those kittens!
It was me or them…. LOL!
The time my nephews tied my niece to the skateboard (she was 2 at the time) and sent her barreling down the driveway…. yeah, good time, good times….
Awesomeness! Lol! Little sisters rock!