Suicidal Thoughts: A Plea


Since I only got 4 likes yesterday for my post A Day In The Lifeless I considered taking my life.

When I was trying to decide which exit from this Land of WordPressia I would take, I ran into some difficulty.

1) Gun shot – I don’t have a license to carry a firearm and I’m allergic to lead.

2) Hanging – Swinging gives me motion sickness and I’ve never been good with knots.

3) High Jump from building and/or bridge – I am afraid of Heights, climbing stairs makes me tired, and the water is cold right now.

4) Overdose – How can you take that many pills and still use as directed? Discipline must be maintained. Plus, most drugs that are best for killing yourself are illegal.

5) Razor in a hot bath – Are you serious? I can’t even shave without holding my breath the whole time. I’m so cautious that I’m the only person I know that puts a tourniquet around my throat when I shave.

6) Head in Stove – I always end up cleaning the stove.

7) Carbon Monoxide – I get sick when I sit in a car too long.

8) Running into traffic – How can this succeed when you can only run into the street when the little blinking man on the pedestrian crossing flashes when traffic has already stopped?
a) Have you noticed that the blinking man is white…?

So, I can’t think of any other way to do myself.
Please prevent my suicide by “liking” all my posts and stroking my egos.
It is up to you.
My life is in your hands.
No pressure…. Really.

Posted from WordPress by my Android by Treyzguy

26 thoughts on “Suicidal Thoughts: A Plea”

  1. What, I go away for a day and all of a sudden you’re ready to off yourself? Geez, Trey, I’m flattered, but you need to get over this unhealthy attachment. πŸ˜‰

    P.S. Great line: “I’m so cautious that I’m the only person I know that puts a tourniquet around my throat when I shave.” Bahahaha!

  2. I love the Professor’s response. Yeah, Trey, you gave up way too easy. Quitter. You whine about 4 likes, and I have to wait months for one of my posts to take off, then suddenly every body and their brother likes it. You are such a Wally Whiner. Get over yourself.

    There, I know you so wanted to brutal honesty, some serious slamming from me. I am more than happy to oblige.

    Peace & Love

    1. I can’t. I tried to get over me once but it was impossible. I tried to go around myself, this too failed. It soon dawned on me that I was (Nat King Cole sings… ) “Unforgettable… That’s what me is….” lol!

      1. Oh my gosh! Well, at least I know you are okay now. You did that all for pity didn’t you? I should try that, but I think Scottishmomus might actually send police here. She totally freaked when I did the “Help Me” title of one of my posts, then there was nothing there. I didn’t finish the post and published it: I later corrected it, but apparently she was watching very close right then and freaked. So, I know one person in the world cares for me. (pity, pity, sad, sad) ;(

  3. All this talk of hurting oneself must end now.
    I cannot afford the airfare for funerals.
    US of A is too far away for me to come a -mourning.

    rene’s right. She totally freaked me when I thought she had fallen through mirrors again. I’m gonna need to get addresses and phone numbers at this rate. Emergency contacts for the far off. πŸ˜‰ x

  4. Hehe..I am so glad that all methods seem to be a non negotiable no to you πŸ˜›
    I am back and I’ll like this post just in case someone from my side clicks on it…so you can get another like πŸ˜‰
    I’m back too!

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