She is the niece that grew up a little chubby, the 3rd child….the middle child.
She was always getting picked on or singled out…..according to her.
No one loved her like the others or paid her any attention…..according to her.
She was alone…..according to her.
She was the wallflower, the loner, the black sheep.
Her childhood was bumpy, like so many of us.
There were some terrible things that she lived through, like all of us.
Her dad was murdered by a crazy man when he was 33 years old.
His name was/is Kirt.
He was/is my best friend.
He was my brother in law…..
He’s been dead for over 20 years now I think.
My niece is in her early twenties, married and the mother of two.
She won’t let go of that anger and loss.
She drags her father’s memory around like a ball and chain.
My niece was molested by a step-brother, I don’t know to what extent. I never asked her about the details, I don’t want to know.
She never talks about it to me. I would listen if she did, but I’m not gonna push her about it.
There’s been the sexual abuse, drugs, jail, eating disorder and marital strife.
Normal life now day’s….right?
Sadly……Not too far from the truth.
We all have to deal with our own monsters the best way we can.
Even the perfect people have their Mondays…..
Although we are in a dark place sometimes and there is no light to be seen, our eyes will become accustomed to the dark…..and we will see.
We will find a way out of the dark eventually.
There is always light to be found in the dark, even with your eyes closed.
When we are ready, we are ready. No sooner no later.
Let me explain to you why I am….upset with her?
No, upset is the wrong word. It’s more like ‘flustered’…..tired.
My niece’s Facebook post are mostly depressing and full of self pity.
She is always complaining about how her life sucks, her husband sucks, her job sucks etc.,
“FML!” is her favorite post on Facebook. (look it up)
She was beautiful when she was a year old, 3 years old, 10 years old, 17 years old and even now as an elderly woman in her early twenties.
But she doesn’t see it.
She WON’T believe it.
She still thinks she’s ugly….She still thinks she’s fat (She might weigh 105 lbs now, that’s only a guess)
She looks as if though she were an Italian beauty, A Greek seductress , a rival to Helen of Troy.
But she drives me nuts….
I can say this because I love her.
I can say this because I would die for her.
I would quit living so that she may live, with no hesitation.
“Please God take me….not the girl”
So….I’m gonna say it.
It may hurt her feelings, it may make her mad.
But I’ve had it.
I am her uncle.
I was/is her dad’s best friend.
I knew her when she was just a glimmer in that horny bastards eye.
We made up songs together on a little keyboard…..My niece, not the horny bastard.
He couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.
Just me and her……
Our little memory.
I changed her shitty little diapers and nasty tooshie. That automatically qualifies me for some tolerance.
That kid stank….!
I could have died…..
I smacked her little baby powder smelling pink butt just for the hell of it too, because she would be kicking and cooing and making the diaper job harder than it should have been.
I’m smiling at the memories…..well, not the poop part.
Back to business.
Get over it girl.
Let it go.
You’re wasting your life being sad and pitiful.
It will reflect in your children’s behavior later.
You know I know.
If you’re not happy, change it.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself and living in a constant pity potty.
You want it? Go get it.
I know you can do it.
I’ve known you all of your life.
Turn that anger away from yourself and focus it on making the world your bitch.
Make the earth tremble under your feet.
You don’t think you can, I do.
You think that you will just fail again.
I fail all the time, I’m getting really good at it….One of the best.
But my success/failure ratio is climbing.
Because I refuse to be beaten.
I’m not gonna die lying down.
You are the only one that doubts yourself.
I know you can do it.
You’re not the only person on this planet that has had bad things happen to them.
Millions of people overcome their individual struggles every second of every day.
They get tired of letting circumstances control their lives.
Aren’t you tired of it?
Aren’t you mad about it?
Don’t you want to be happy as much as humanly possible?
Then change it….
Take control of your life.
Stand tall (or as tall as you can mighty midget)
So what if progress is slower than you like.
Progress is progress nonetheless.
How do I know you’re gonna win the fight?
I shudder to think how much more awesome you will become.
I look forward to it though.
I have always loved to watch you grow.
I’ve watched it all of your life.
Come on baby girl……
We know you can do it.
I love you heap big much.
– Your Uncle Trey