MovieTones


I am going to waste money today….and time.Image

I am on my first day of 4 days off after being in my truck for 9 freaking weeks!

9 weeks!!

Can y’all imagine that!?

Former prisoners and agoraphobics are not allowed to comment….

I slept on a real bed last night.  

It was awesome but weird. I woke up sometime during the night and almost panicked when I couldn’t remember where I was or how I got there and there was absolutely no alcohol involved.

Plus the motels motor wasn’t idling….

The king-sized bed has 6 pillows.

I have 6 pillows in my truck too, but the ones in the motel room don’t smell like ass.

I am going to the movies for the first time in weeks. Well, I went and seen “Frozen” with my nieces and nephews while I was in Utah during Xmas.

They wouldn’t stay outta my freaking popcorn and I didn’t cry like they said I did.

There was a sex maniac next door last night.

I was glad to see the intended victim walk out of their room this morning, and bring back some coffee to the dreaded cocksman.

She thought it was funny when I asked her if she were being held against her will.

She blushed a little.Image

The Phallic Wonder came to the door to see who was talking to his victim.

He got embarrassed more than the poor victim had when I asked him if HE was being held against HIS will.

When they had giggled at each other, and the cocksman said he was not being held captive, he got even more flushed when I asked for his autograph.

They both about died when I told them that I needed a cigarette after they had quit knocking the pictures off of my motel rooms’ wall.

They said that they were from Vermont and were here for Mardi Gras.

I told them to enjoy themselves and to be careful.

When they asked why, I told them that there is a curfew for Yankees in Louisiana after 7 pm.

It took almost 5 minutes for the poor kids to figure out I was kidding.

I am going to see “Monuments Men” today. 

I want to go see “Son of God” tomorrow, being Sunday and everything, but I actually felt scared about planning to see it after I watched the trailer on YouTube.

It was weird, the reaction I felt in my body. Not my head, in my body! I had a physical reaction to the movie trailer!

I know me….I know what will happen if I go see it.

I will cry….I will feel guilty…..I will feel un-worthy….I will feel everything and not be able to handle it.Image

I will feel anger and betrayal….

In my mind….

 I am a very spiritual person but I am having a faith crisis right now, actually it’s been a few years.

I do not have the ability to maintain faith.

I have to be completely bombarded with a constant stream of “Jesus Stuff” to maintain my faith, if I can call it that.

Did you know that I am actually considering spending a year of my life in a monastery?

I am seriously considering it.   I have actually applied for it.

I want to have faith, honest.

….Before you say it let me say it….I don’t believe prayers get to God.

It is an act of obedience…….An “ACT”

I also consider walking into the mountains to find my faith.

I also consider living in the desert and subjecting myself to hunger and deprivations to find my faith.

I also consider that I don’t know WHAT in the hell I am looking for….

Is it myself I’m looking for?

There is something missing in my soul.

Maybe if I keep writing, escaping from my world with words, I will stumble across that place in my soul that the words can’t express.

I hope I’ll recognize it when I find it….Image

But for now, I’m going to the movies where I don’t have to think.

Denial…..

I hear it’s always nice there.

I’ve been there many times.

It’s the only place I know that has several paths to get there, but only one way out.

11 thoughts on “MovieTones

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  1. You should love Monuments Men, Trey. I dug it. Very thoughtful war movie, from a way different point of view. The sex maniacs next door, the finding faith, the ass-smell pillows … I got nothing. Don’t enjoy Mardis Gras too much, sir.

      1. Since I’m your self-appointed teacher? It’s “They went and saw” (not seen). Searching for self leads to finding it in acts of love, kindness, and concern for others, in looking at the miracles of our blue planet with the green nature and wondrous animal life that surrounds us and the stars and planets above our heads, in giving thanks to whoever or whatever (depending on our choice of faith) has arranged all this. Why? Does there have to be a purpose? Can’t we just be? I think each person is a story, and all the stories combine to make a world. One of these days, we’ll be translated into another dimension, and won’t we have fun!

  2. You don’t have to search far and wide to find faith, Trey. The ability to have faith is not in our ability to conjure up some strong, unwavering ability to believe beyond belief. Faith is trusting in the ONE who has already done so much for you.
    Have you ever read Timothy Keller? He has a book entitled, “Encounters with Jesus: Unexpected Answers to Life’s Biggest Questions” that just might be what you need to read. He is easy to read and explains things so well. Cheap download for your Kindle.

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