Rant….With Feeling


I don’t know why I’m here.

I don’t understand the whole….living thing sometimes…..most times.

I keep searching and looking for the ‘answers’ thingee, but I don’t get it….sometimes….most times.

Why am I here?

What purpose have I served?

Do I even serve a purpose?Image

I mean, I’ve helped make babies, I’ve served the primal genetic drive to procreate, but a frog can do that…..

So what makes me special, what makes me a true contributor to the ‘flux’ of existence?

My mind tells me that I have good things to do….

My heart tells me that my days are numbered.

Am I a cog in the wheel?   Is there a wheel?

Does my existence support your reality, the grasp on your own life?

Am I here by myself?       Is everyone around me a shadow player on the stage of my life?

Can you see me?

Is it my life?       Or your’s?

What am I doing here?

I love music, art, expression of passion in any form, but…. I love this life I seem to be living….I can feel the skin on my face….My hair….my $2 cologne

But I can see…..

It’s so dark when the light is on.

I need a hug…..

Sometimes you need someone to tell you it’s gonna be alright….

I actually believe it sometimes…..

I know it’s gonna be…..okay.   But when….?

I love a good hug every now and again.

Just like the next guy……

Do I serve a purpose…?

Have I served a purpose?

Am I a ring in the water….?

Will I….?    Can I….?   Do anything…….?

Ask whoever’s driving……

There’s map’s everywhere, but I’m lost.

There’s sign’s everywhere, but which road is the good road?

You never know until you’re on it….

And even then….

I can’t breathe….

Why have I danced in a thunderstorm and begged God to kill me?

Why have I dug food from a trash bin and asked him to save me…?

What’s the purpose of my life?

Am I a man?

Why do I love guitar music and not punk?

Why did I choose no socks over flip flops?

Why….Did I do what I did?

Why have I done what has been did?

My 4th grandchild is on the way….

My children hate me…..

It’s just life…..

Shining life….

What a ride….

Scream when it’s scary.

6 thoughts on “Rant….With Feeling

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  1. ((Hugs)) Reminds me of the post I almost published titled, “Sometimes I Just Sits and Thinks” Now that you have asked the questions, start looking for the answers. It may or may not be spelled out in the sky (probably not) but you never know!

  2. Sorry, you sound like you are having a really bad day! I have felt hated at times and yes also from my kids. Being a parent is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, I think they are mostly just sick of me now that they are adults. I’ll give you a hug!
    Please know that reading your story (your story not your writing) gave me encouragement- guess I felt some of the same issues were very close to mine.
    Thanx for that, Gayle:)

  3. Here’s a (((HUG))).

    Yes. You have a purpose. But, the longing of your heart can’t be filled by desires here on this earth. Your purpose lies in Jesus Christ and what he has done for you, for all eternity.
    We were made in the image of God, and made for relationship with him.
    🙂 Keep seeking, friend. God said those who truly seek him will find him.

  4. Each person we meet as we journey through our lives is touched by the things we say and do. By simply touching them we can leave an indelible make that can impact them in ways we will never know. You have touched people Trey and made a difference.

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