Old Love….Best Love

Is there any love better than old love?

1)      “He doesn’t eat tomatoes, that’s why I chop them up real small, he can’t see them the old fart.”

2)      “He’s such a cry baby during sad movies….but don’t say nothin’”

3)      “She’s an excellent driver, no….I don’t really notice the horns honking. I sleep while she drives”

4)      “He’s so dumb sometimes I wanna kill him!”

“Oh, we’ve been married 40 years”

5)      “Your grandmother is a very intelligent woman….here’s a dollar, go tell her I said so”

       [screen door creaks open]

      “Honey…Where’s my thingamajig?!”  

       “It’s in the thingee by the watchamacallit!” 

        [screen door creaks shut]

       “Okay!  I got it!”

      “Which set of teeth are yours?!” 

      “The ones in the blue cup!” 

      “They’re both blue!”  

      “Turn on the light woman!” 

       “Oh….”

      “Grandpa? Why are you sitting out here on the porch?”  

“Your Grandma is in one of HER moods….”

 “Stop sitting out there on the porch like a big baby, a few pieces of tomato ain’t gonna kill you!

“You know I hate tomatoes woman, I’ve been married to you for 40 years…..you know they give me gas!”

“I’ll give you gas if you don’t get in here and eat!”

“Hmmph!”

“Granny, you’re a very intelligent woman”

“Hmmph!”

“Give Grandpa back his money and get in here and eat”

[screen door slams]

“I still ain’t eating damn tomatoes…”

“What…?”

“Nothing honey….!”

“Hmmmph”

“Grandpa! Granny says get in here before she comes out there to get you!”

[muttering] “I’ll go in there and get you thinking you gonna make me eat some dang tom….”

“What’’’?!”

“Coming mother!”

[screen door slams]

“Smells good dear”

“Hmmph, now sit down and set a good example for the boy”

“I want my dollar back”

“Good bread, good meat, good gosh, let’s eat!”

[Winks at the boy]

[Granny pops Grandpa with a dish towel]

They smile at each other, with the wrong set of teeth.

[Laughing as if they had just met]