Convenient…

I refuse to watch the news this morning…                                                                                                   

I’m in too good a mood.

I have awakened in typical good humor.

I have had my coffee and am currently indulging in a bowl of Cheerios that has promised me eternal life.

I am following my diet by eating said Cheerios sans added granulated diabetes or artificial cancer.

It is a new experience for me, a robust handsome man of 49, to eat Cheerios, or any cereal come to think of it, without sugar and/or sweetener of some form and/or manifestation thereof.

I don’t sweat the fact that there is always some form of sugar that is not indicated on the nutrition label glued to the side of my cereal cup.

 I know that the cereal companies must add sugar to keep me, us…under their control.

What little sugar that is not identified is of no accord nor concern to me as long as I consume it as early in the morning as possible.

Like I have said before, it is a proven scientific fact that Diabetes cannot hurt you before 9 am.

Quick thought:  Do you think Rip Van Winkle was so ugly he had to have 20 years of beauty sleep?

Anywhos…

What else…?

Oh, yeah….

I sliced up a banana and mixed it in the cereal….It is awesome.

I am also munching on some watermelon cubes in a cup that cost more than a whole watermelon does before slicing.

Convenience is costly.

More than you know…..Trust me on this.

Just the other day, for the hell of it, I phoned in an order for a hooker with anchovies and was told if she wasn’t there in thirty minutes hot and fresh I’d get my money back.

The point is, when dealing with convenience carpet-baggers, either way, you’re gonna get screwed…..and thank them for it because we’re too damn lazy to do it ourselves!

I’m not condemning lazy people, I are one at heart.

Once more, Like I have said, I am a devotee’ of Yellow #5 and carcinogenic additives.

Do you know why I’m on a diet…?   I mean, other than health reasons….

I can’t afford to eat like I used to anymore.

I mean, who can really other than the upper upper middle class and above.

Have any of y’all seen how much a trip to Red Lobsta or Outback Steakhouse is now?!

Probably not, all bloggers are rich…..We just write poor.  ; )

Anyways….

Bananas are cheap, despite the fact I know how hard it is to get them to the states in the first place and what it actually involves to transfer them to the stores fresh, and un-bruised.

No one wants mushy ‘nanners’….

It’s a pain in the ass!  If I owned a banana plantation y’all would be paying me like $20 a lb for a bunch!

Those of you that are not familiar with the infrastructure of the transportation industry and the logistics involved in getting our bananas, avocados, asparagus, ice cream or even women’s make-up from point A to point B should know that it is very complex and intricate.

Oh, by the way, did you know that most ingredients that ‘make-up’ women’s cosmetics are considered hazardous materials when being transported by land, rail, sea and air?

I have been to a plant that manufactures make-up…..

If women only knew what they were putting on their face…..

I’ll give you a hint: chicken feathers, chicken feet, chicken beaks, chicken blood, chicken heads, all cooked, steamed and ground to a fine powder and mixed with other materials I won’t expound upon, to make your cosmetics of ALL KINDS….

Did I mention that a lot of the dead chickens that didn’t make it to the “Safe for Humans” line are green by the time they are added to the batch?

Same as dog food….

Not too far removed from a cave woman with bear blood on her face or an Indian woman with brightly colored buffalo shit on her face…..is it?

Their face paint is probably healthier if you get down to it….

I won’t make this very long today.

Look at the products around your house and realize you take them for granted.

The people that make these products in this day and time certainly take us for granted.

There is no more honor among thieves…….there is no code of ethics.

There is only demand and money.

Convenience is the one drug that we MUST have.

I am no longer in a good mood….

I hate reality.

Talk to you tomorrow…..