Racism and Me


I hate white people….green people…plaid people….especially corduroy people.blending-in-picsay.jpg

Stupid….

Yes, I am writing about our world again.

It seems like that the closer I get to being 50 years old (sigh) the more I think about my morality, not my mortality, although the latter does flit thru my mind occasionally….say, every 15 seconds or so.

No, I’m not worried about my place in Heaven or attaining Nirvana.

I have a hard time accepting either destination due to the fact that it is by men’s interpretation alone that I even know about them.

God has never told me.

Buddha has a great insight, but has never told me.

Prayer has never truly calmed me.

I have never actually heard a still small voice, discounting my own conscience or guilt.

But, one day……I hope, that I will find out for sure, at least enough to convince me.

I think I’ll just concentrate on being a good person.

Let’s just get it out there before I start into my hypocritical racist rant….

I don’t want to die.

I want to live forever.

I fear death and the unknown.

Can I fathom the possibility that my consciousness may be truly eternal?

Is there a chance that an atoms existence is an infinitesimally indefinable conscious mote?

Is it conceivable that consciousness is really the elusive ‘ether’ that holds the universe as we know it together, the ‘dark matter’?

I’ll have to look up universal consciousness and see if it jives with my interpretation.

download (94)Did I come from Adam and Eve, an ape via an amphibian or aliens?

Who knows…?

You?

 

All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree.

Albert Einstein

Anywho…

I have always been honest on my blog.Trey Header

I wear my faults and short-comings on my sleeve and shoulders, unafraid about letting others know that I am not perfect, far from it.

I honestly have nothing to hide anymore….

Truth WILL set you free, even if it’s bad truth.

If you ask me, I will tell you.

You might not want to hear my answer or opinion but I am a big softie and I will smooth it out the best I can because I hate to hurt people’s feelings, even if I don’t like them that much and would rather kick them in the balls or punch’em in the boob.

I am a hypocrite.

I am a racist.

I don’t know why I am.

I have no earthly idea….

The more that I think about it, and trust me I do, I believe that I am rooted in racism by my upbringing and the region I was raised as a child.

It’s not my fault.

Someone else started racism and intolerance.

There is NEVER a group idea.

All ideas start with a single person:

“Hey guys! That caveman over there is different from us, let’s hate him and throw rocks at him!”

“Okay!” they all say.

Get my point?

But, in all honesty, I think I am a situational racist.

I’m definitely a flagrant hypocrite.angel 1

I have always told people that the world’s best advice comes from the world’s worst hypocrites.

It may not be true in a lot of cases, but it’s true in many…..

Think about that for a little while.

I don’t want to be a racist, I hate hypocrites….

“There are no Negro problems, or Polish problems, or Jewish problems, or Greek problems, or women’s problems, there are HUMAN PROBLEMS”.

Jacque Fresco

How do we overcome this?

You do what I try to do every minute of everyday…..

Work at it.

I have finally learned how to recognize the signs for my mental outburst of stupidity.wpid-PF_Wooden_Sign_24102013171639921.jpg

Like I said before, my racism is situational and self-serving….I realize that now.

This is what’s so stupid….

I’m shaking my head just thinking about it…

 

A)      I get mad when I see interracial couples (A white woman/man with any non-white or non-American male/female)

I will tell you what goes thru the mind of a racist first, then how a maturing man combats his very thoughts and hypocrisies….

I really don’t think it’s because of any inadequacy that I have as a man.

What I don’t understand is why the bitterness and disgust is the first thing that pops into my head!

I don’t know these people.

I don’t know their story.

I actually have told many people that the reason I hate interracial couplings, as stated within the parameters from above, is that the world, in present day, is difficult for the children of said union.

They are derided, bullied, not accepted by their parent’s race as a ‘true’ member of either ‘clan’.

That was MY opinion…..my ‘justification’.

What a crock of shit….

I can’t accept the fact that some people never ever have the same thoughts as me….that most people probably never even notice that the two people are of different creeds or if it even matters at all.

I don’t know the first damn thing about them, but I despise them….for about 30 seconds, then I talk myself down and get over the disgust in my own reactions.

I have no idea why it even happens?

Why doesn’t “Man, that’s a good looking couple” come to mind first instead of “What, you can’t find a [Add Race Here] guy/gal, you gotta make some kind of a statement?”

I’m just being honest.

I hate the fact that I am imperfect in this way!

I don’t know, maybe I’m just an asshole.images (4)

I have friends that are black, Mexican, Korean, Chinese, Polynesian, Somalian, Ukranian….etc.,

I’m a dang American!

I’m supposed to have friends of all races, religions and backgrounds.

It’s a melting pot, remember.

That’s what this country is ‘supposed’ to be all about!

If we wanna get down to it, we are all illegal immigrants here.

The Native Americans were here before us, and I’m sure they didn’t hate the white people when they first showed up, but they learned.

They just want their land back.

Be patient my Native American brethren, its coming.

Example:

“I can’t marry you my love”

“Why not my dear?”

“Because my dad says you’re a dirty Catholic”

“Ohhh…I understand Jacob Horowitz my love, my dad says you’re a Jew bastard”

We’re so stupid…kids

“I can’t play with you anymore Tommy”

“Why not Billy?”

“Because you’re a nigger silly”

“Ohhh…I understand Milosz Kozlowski, my dad says you’re family is a bunch of stupid ass poe-locks”

“What’s a nigger anyway Tommy?”   Tommy shrugs “I don’t know, I’m sorry you a poe-lock though”

Billy frowns “Me too….Let’s go play!”

It’s a learned behavior, it MUST BE TAUGHT TO PROPOGATE!

Adults are just outdated children.” –Dr. Seuss
The real problem is it’s taught or observed while we are young and learning the intricacies and nuances of survival ourselves.

We learn to go along to get along.

One must not be different from the rest of the herd that feeds and protects us.

I accept who I am….flawed and doughy.

There are things about me that I still don’t like, things I want to change.

So why am I a racist then?

I don’t know….

…no idea.

Should I blame it on my parents?

Should I blame it on Mississippi and Georgia?

Should I blame it on that dirty Dago sailor from Spain?

Should I blame Cain?downloadcain

I’ve got to blame someone……. it’s not natural to be a racist bastard.

I won’t be too hard on myself though because I know that I make a true conscious effort to not be this way.

I’ve always known it was wrong.

 

“In my defense….I am just a man, don’t fault me for that”

-Trey Clarke

Like I said, even as a kid I didn’t understand why my dad didn’t like little niggers in his front yard, but it seemed stupid that I couldn’t have anyone my own age to play with.

I wouldn’t have given a shit if they were polka dotted with feathers in their asses if they could have played robbers or explored the woods with me.

But, they were niggers and that’s the only reason I got.

I wish I had grown up on a deserted island sometimes and my only problem had been a sun burn.

My saving grace is that I want to be a better man….that I KNOW none of our descendants will prosper or enjoy their time in and of this world if we don’t figure out something real damn soon.

Dear World “leaders”,

We are the same species you bunch of dumb bastards, quit using our differences against us! I know some of us just talk funny BUT that’s what Rosetta Stone is for!

“Population control is dependent upon education. We feel, an educated population needs no control.”   Jacque Fresco

Okay….That’s enough for now.

I’m going to go in the truck stop and do a 30 minute session in the massage recliner and reflect on my thoughts and become one with the chair.

Have a great weekend.

P.S

I will never accept Mexicans working in a Chinese restaurant…

Some things just ain’t natural.images (52)

Forgive me.

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

Mahatma Gandhi

19 thoughts on “Racism and Me”

  1. “EXCELLENT” post Treyz!

    Look, the is reason why support groups like AA, GA, NA…..Use the statement, “Believe in a Power Greater Than Ourselves” is to get our HEADS outside ourselves, out of the brain Box! If your not sure of who your HP is, then make one up!…LOL..No, don’t do that! Who knows what you would dream up!….LOL!

    I do believe there is a “Spiritual” being in my life who has pulled me out of the “Dark Hell” I was going through within my addictions. I do believe that our Earth is a hell we are living in until end times, and that we will be lifted out of all this “Tragic” living here on earth. If you have Hope, Belief, and Love in your “Heart” and help others along your journey, there is a place for you above the clouds. I truly believe in that. He never promised us a “Easy Life,” that would be boring. If we can make it here, learn life lessons along the way, and be “Kind” to others, your well on your way to eternal rest.

    We have No Control over People, Places, or Things, but we have choices. Those choices sometimes shape who we become, and what we do to & for others. The “Man” didn’t intend to make us all “Perfect,” as he knows we will be a “Work In Progress” until our time here is done. So don’t be to hard o yourself,
    You have much wisdom, and many of the questions and thoughts you share in your post? We all have thought the same one time or another. I know there is an “Extra Special” place for you in Heaven!! You may not believe that, but I’ll do THAT for YOU!….LOL…..

    Hugs and Friendship Always,
    *Catherine* 🙂 🙂

    1. Thanx dudette!
      Always appreciate your input and support for my….crazy thoughts!
      I am spending this whole day just reading stuff from everybody, i follow yours because it’s easy, but for some reason my likes aren’t registering and I can’t get to some folks’ suites and the Gravatar thingee ain’t working! By the way, what in the hell does “JSON XML PHP VCF QR” mean on everybodies Gravatar?

    2. As to who Trey would find or create for a HP, well, he has already created himself as the world’s HP, but I am not sure if he has anyone he answers too. LOL

  2. What is all this about becoming 50? Be happy you’ve reached that age. A lot of people don’t. Now, there are many wonderful years ahead of you, years of exploration, years of love, years of adventure. I was 67 when I turned my life upside down and joined the Peace Corps, one of the best decisions I ever made. So, it’s never to late to engage in a new sphere. You are young!

  3. Dude, you’ve earned my everlasting respect for laying yourself bare like that. Most of us don’t have the balls to admit that stuff to ourselves, let alone others. Well done!

    1. Thx Dave.
      My blog is my therapy.
      It is freedom when you are true to yourself and with others. It is a relief more than anything else.
      No more hiding, no more deciet. I knew it was time for a serious change when I started believing in my own lies….
      I appreciate your feedback, thx alot dude.

  4. Parents who continuously perpetuate myths about differences in people, media that stirs up anti-culture feeling, politicians who cite ethnic groups as problematic, those who have a self-interest in keeping the myths alive. Or maybe one bad experience at the hands of one person and the whole race becomes tarnished with the same thoughts. Whatever the reasons for it, and those are just some, we need to become self-aware of our attitudes. You’re doing that big time, Trey. If you can recant initial feelings with rational thought in such a short time you do already know how unreasonable it all is.
    I listen to kids still making comments on religious divide based on football teams! And not just kids. We have here in the West of Scotland a Catholic/Protestant divide that still exists in pubs and football and in families because people persist in keeping it going. Kids are raised with this, they hear it around them. The football teams have even taken steps to counter the worst of it but it’s still there. We have marches that take place by the Orange Lodge and their alternate counterpart. It’s a mess when these things still exist – celebrating aspects of history that should be viewed as shameful rather than rejoiced in.
    Every effort that you take and others too helps bring about a change in perception. And then there is hope that subsequent generations start to see the light.
    As for God. He’s cool. Big bang, planet of the apes, birth from the stars. He must have a laugh at our fixations on creation theory when we could enjoy being part of it and loving all about it. And 50’s not old bugger lugs! I’m 53 and feel as fresh as a daisy. 🙂 x

      1. I know…. She told me the same. The way she keeps flashing her cleavage on Facebook you’d think she was 25! Bahahaha! That drives her crazy! Lol!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s