Thumbs Up


I haven’t been able to post anything of real substance this week due to my horrific thumb injury suffered at the hands of a watermelon knife on Memorial Day.

I will remember it, trust me.

It's bigger in real life.... That's what she said...hee hee
It’s bigger in real life….
That’s what she said…hee hee

I do not type with my thumb but it happens to be connected directly to the one typing finger that I do use on that particular left-hand.

The impact on the keys of my laptop by my typing/booger finger sends shockwaves into my nearly amputated thumb causing the infection coursing thru my veins to act as gasoline on a fire.

It is hard to type while weeping.

I have found out one thing though which may be useful, in a good way, for future reference.

When I touch, bump or squeeze my injured thumb, I pee my pants and have a slight poopy reflex.

Acupressure?

Weird….

Enough about my poor thumb….

I am sitting in the state of Washington this morning, close to Snoqualmie Pass.

The mist is hanging low over the mountains and the air is crisp and cool.

It’s eerily quiet for a truck stop.

No one is idling their trucks for heat or A/C.20130803_145719

None of the refrigerated trailers are running because the outside temperature is perfect for a morning.

I am waiting for the sun.

Okay, back to my thumb…

It hates being ignored.

I’ve been getting a lot of grief from some of my Facebook peeps about my injury and the documentation of my thumbs progress thereof:

My manhood has been questioned and my ability to overcome the traumatic event.

I have been called a drama queen.

I have been called a pansy.

I have even been labeled a cry baby.20131012_072546

None of them know my pain.

I know for a fact that I have all the symptoms of Fibromyalgia of the thumb.

Okay, that’s enough…

I will now attempt to ignore my thumb.

I wish I was better with words.

I wish that I had paid more attention in school.

I wish that I could expound upon any subject with insight and creativity.

But whenever I try to write something concerning world events, like politics, I just don’t have the educational background to make any type of informed opinion, much less interest anyone about said opinions other than myself.

Instead, I prefer humor.

I often write some things about my past, the alcoholism, my kids, suicide and the prevention thereof, homelessness…you know….. Sad stuff.

You know what?

I have to make myself depressed to write about these things.

I have to force myself to drag up those old memories.

I have to scratch in order to bleed.

I don’t want to bleed anymore.

Way too much time has been lost in regret.

I am a different man now.

[Shooting pain in thumb; slight poopy reflex]man-screaming

Needy thumb….

I have just realized that I am an enabler….

Oh, quick note, don’t walk up to a pharmacy counter and say “I need some dope!”

They tend to scrutinize your I.D and insurance a lot more closely.

Oh, and never believe a nurse when they say “Slight pinch”images (22)

I have, up to this date, had 8 shots due to my horrific injury.

7 in da butt, and 1 in the shoulder.

I forgot about the band-aids on my tooshie until I took a shower this morning.

I turned around in front of the mirror to examine my back half and saw the 7 band-aids still stuck on my Gluteus Maximus.

I believe band-aids begin to absorb into your body after 2 days because peeling them off with only one available hand and thumb that works is quite…..difficult.

You know what that nurse told me…?

He said that one of my shots had to go into the bone!

I guess when he saw my face go pale he decided that his joke didn’t go over as well as he had hoped.

Joke…..about a bone injection?

Who does that?

Girl nurses don’t do crap like that!

Me love nurses
Me love nurses

Men….

You ESPECIALLY don’t do that kind of thing to a poor trucker that suffers from Narcissistic Paranoid Hypochondria…..!

I just took my antibiotic for this morning.

It’s called Keflex.

I can’t take penicillin because it has the side effect of death.

I can’t take codeine because of the side effect of torrential bodily evacuations with extreme prejudice without consideration of my GPS position.

It always happens when there are no ‘facilities’ for miles.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to stop an 80,000 lb vehicle traveling at 65 mph while gritting your teeth and trying to maintain muscle control?

Lots of screeching tires, burning rubber smoke, scattering chickens and the occasional flying mailbox.

All your body knows is this;downloadoops

It is time to ‘go’, why are you fighting us?

We must push harder….

We’re only trying to do our job.

Just….relax.

Don’t do it…. (Get it?)

Okay, I’ve bored y’all long enough.

I think the Keflex is doing its job.

The gaping wound on my thumb has closed and is only dark pink and blue.

I might just make it.

19 thoughts on “Thumbs Up”

  1. I’ve had Keflex. I have had almost every type of antibiotic. None of them have killed me yet. I am glad, so I could be here today to read and comment on this post.

  2. I will honestly admit I am one of the ones calling you a Drama Queen. Dude, if that would have been me, a doctor or nurse would never have seen it. I would have just wrapped the thumb up, typed funny for a week or so, and kept watching it for gangrene. If it started causing more pain than it was worth, maybe finally a visit to Quick care. Either I am made of stronger stuff (definitely not a Hypochondriac) and I already have too many health issues to let one cut get me down. I would probably swear a lot more for a week or so. Maybe that is what you needed, more swearing and it would have healed by now. That’s my answer and I am sticking to it. I am truly sorry you hurt yourself with you specialized watermelon knife. Really I am! Trust me, my heart is bleeding for you.

    Peace & Love to you dude.

    1. I am used to my share of hand injuries from my years as a pipefitter/welder…
      My thumb should not look like this and hurt this bad for so long for so little a cut!
      That’s…. What concerns me.
      But Thanx for the bleeding heart…:-*

      1. I am just joshing wit’ ya’, you know this right? Don’t take me seriously unless I swear a lot, that is my moto. Damn, can’t type, going to the pool. Take care of the thumb. Luv ya’

      2. I ain’t rich, but the pool is part of the apartments. Come by some time when you hit ‘Vegas, and we will spend some time in the pool, Jacuzzi, and sun. Can’t offer much more than that, maybe some lemonade or tea if you would like. Remember I is a food stamp lady right now.
        Peace & Love

      3. How nice. Just bring the stuff though, as I have this stupid walker thing now and it just doesn’t look cool to walk around or go any place with it. Going to Wal Mart or the doctor no problem, but any where else would just be embarrassing for me.

        Peace & Love at ya’

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