I wonder what it was like when there weren’t any houses, cars, buildings, airplanes, fences, dams, telephone poles, wind generators….you know, before we cluttered everything up, before “civilization” .
How scared do you think Christopher Columbus was in the middle of the ocean on a ship the size of my semi-truck?
I freaked out when I saw that the ‘Pinta’ was only 50’ long! My big truck is 65’ long!
The ‘Pinta’ was approximately 4’ wider than my truck, but try to imagine 20-26 sailors living on that ship for the voyage.
Ocean faring romances…?
These guys sailed across an ocean on a boat the size of a big rig, with no real idea where they were heading or how long they would be at sea….
What about Lewis and Clark seeing Native Americans for the first time as the “Indians” rode up to them on their horses, wearing war paint and hooting their battle cries….
“What’s that smell?” asks Lewis
“I believe I’ve shat my pants” replied Clark
“Don’t show any fear, Clark” whispers Lewis
“Clark…? Clark….? What the…?”
I don’t blame him…
” Run Tonto!”
What about the Wright brothers?
“Are you nuts Orville, have you lost your mind! I ain’t getting on that damn thing, you fly it!!” cries Wilbur.
“Sissy…I dare ya! ” says Orville
“I want to find out if radium is harmful before we tell people about it” says Madame
“We should wait until our hair grows back, Marie; in case they want to take pictures of us” says her husband
“Holy shit, is it supposed to do that! That’s fucked up!!”
“Do you think it’ll catch the atmosphere on fire!?” asks a scientist
Blank stare….shoulder shrug
“What’s that smell Bob?”
“Wait Houston! I gotta pee!”
“6….5…..4…..” Rockets ignite
“Never mind Houston”
“You didn’t bring the damn map!” says she
“I know where we’re going” replies her male co-pilot.
“I’m telling you, that bush spoke to me….that one right there! The one next to those mushrooms!”
“Okay crazy man, whatever you say…Now, put your pants back on and let’s get back to the party” sayeth Aaron
“Holy shit, it is supposed to do that!?”ask the helper.
Edison shrugs….” Hell, I don’t know, I guess….”
“Who brought these damn mosquitoes and roaches!?”
“Sir! We’re surrounded sir!” screams a private
“What’s that smell sir?”
“Iiiiii…don’t know what you’re talking about”
Sir Edmund Hillary:
“Jesus, it’s cold as hell up here!”
“Are you gonna eat that?”
“I think I’m gonna puke!”
“Is that pork!?”
“Oh Jesus, oh Jesus, oh Jesus….What the fuck am I doing in this thing?!”
“Man, look at all them Mexicans” says Jim Bowie
“I’ll go get some help, we’re at theeee…. Alamo right?!” says Davy Crockett
“Better write it down, I can’t remember it either” said Bowie.
Last but not least….
“CRUCIFY!!?? Crucify!!?? What the hell do they mean, CRUCIFY!!??”