Spoken For


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Me portraying Saul of Tarsus

What will I do when God answers me?

Will I believe it is actually him?

I don’t see how I couldn’t…
I’m sure I’ll know, don’t y’all think…
Him being God and all…

I would like to hear his voice, I think; although the prophets say I couldn’t handle it; yet, they all heard him, didn’t they?

I know he’s a really great listener but I don’t get much feedback from him other than that still small voice I can’t seem to hear over the noise of my complex little world.

What if he cuts into one of my prayers and asks “What now, Trey?”

All pissed off, like…

What if he says that he’s heard all this from me before; over and over and over again; blah blah blah

What if he says “I love you, but you disappoint me and you make me crazy!”

Or “I am done forgiving you; you have drawn from the well of my understanding too often, and now it is dry”

All parable sounding, like…

But…I can’t blame him, I guess; I mean, I’m a Christian; at least I say I am….

But what do I really do….like, in Christian stuff?

I wouldn’t know what to say to him; you can’t lie to God, or else I’d try…

“Well, my job…”

“I have to work on Sundays…”

What if he tells me “Well, I have an extra job for you”

“Do I get overtime?”

What if he says “I need you to save mankind and warn them of the coming judgement” or some pants soiling comment like that!?

Becoming an atheist might look promising all of a sudden.

I mean, other men have heard his voice; like unto the raging of many waters, the thunder of the mountains….etc.

These men that pled ignorance and unworthiness still did their job.

Floods, arks, plagues, lion dens, crucifixion and redemption…

Will I believe what I’m hearing or put it down to psychosis?

What if I heard the voice of God and I could tell he was angry?

What would I do?

“It’s not my fault!”

But what if it is….?

I would freak out of course, but as soon as I knew it was him, I would calm down and listen, I hope so at least.

“I need your help with something, Trey” The Lord might say…

“Me!?” I would gulp “Whaddaya need ME to do!?” 

“I’m just me, I’m just a truck driver; what could you possibly think I am capable of that me, a scoundrel and poltroon, could hope to affect?”

“Not too much” says the big guy “Just touch someone’s life”

Mumbling and shaking my head… My face in my hands…

“Oh my god” I’d whisper

“What?” asks God the Father

“No…” I’d splutter… “It’s just an expression”

God nods wearily and says “Yeah, I hear that a lot”

“People will think I’ve finally gone off my rocker if I start talking about you and Jesus and the Holy Ghost, they’ll lock me up!”

“You can do it, you big baby” laughs God

“In all seriousness, Lord; I can try but no one will listen….” I say

“I know what you mean” mumbles the Lord

“I’ve been a crappy, flawed guy, too long” protesting vehemently says I

“Crappy?” Google, Saul of Tarsus if you think YOU’RE crappy” says God

All of a sudden…

“Don’t cry, God” says I

“Don’t cry…”

“I seem to do nothing else, here lately” says God.

“OK” says I; guilty like.
“I’ll try… ”

God smiles and says” Walk with me”

So… I did

… And still try

14 thoughts on “Spoken For”

  1. Wow very honest I do believe God will be please with you because he knows you and knows the reasons why we do and say the things we say and things like that. I think he will be pleased. I like how you think!

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