News Flash: Mother Dies in Walmart!

Date: Today

Scene: Knoxville, Tennessee Walmart pharmacy pick up line.

Actors: Me, a Mommy, Mommy’s Angel (maybe 3 yrs old; girl), Gramma, token Walmart troll and pharmacist guy.

Angel: “Mommy?”

Mommy (talking to pharmacist)

Angel: “Mommy?”

Mommy (talking to pharmacist)

Angel (loud) : “Mommy?”

Mommy (talking to Gramma)

Angel (louder) : “Mommy!?”

Mommy (talking to pharmacist)

Angel: “Mommy?” 

Mommy (talking to troll)

Angel (loudest) : “Mommy!?”

Mommy (perturbed) “God Lord! What honey, can’t you see I’m talking to the man about the medicine!?”

Angel (nodding innocently): “Some poop fell out of my butt”

Mommy’s face turns red and explodes.

Gramma instantly jerks up Angel from floor and jams nose into Angels underwear..

Angel (informationally) : “It fell on the floor”

It did….

Mommy dies….

Gramma dies…

I died, too…. Right there in Walmart.

I laughed so hard I think I blew a freaking blood clot!

Walmart intercom: “Can we get an associate to the pharmacy with a bio clean-up kit.!”

I died, again.

I think I pulled some muscles over my ribs.

This was one of those 10 year laughs….

It got better!

When the Walmart clean up guy in a rubber suit and surgical mask was trying to decide between a dust pan or a piece of cardboard to pick up the “asskadent”, I howled!!

It was great!!

Poor, Mommy!

“Some poop fell outta my butt!!”

Bahahaha! Bahahaha!!

This really happened, today!

First Treyzyguy thought : “Man, I gotta blog this shit!”

That thought got me going again!

My funny bone was fully infected and contagious!

Alzhiemers won’t take that Mommy’s look outta my memory, EVER!

I hope you can picture it too!