The Night Was Long

I wanted to reclarify something.
This is real.
This is not a story.
This is hell.
This is right now.
This is happening as I speak.
Somewhere….
Amongst us….

*A sniffle*

Whaddya mean you’re leaving me?

I drink too much?
Whaddya mean, I fucking drink too much!?
Oh, this is rich!
I hardly drink at all!

Oh, I get it….
Here we fucking go again!
“You drink too much”
“You gamble too much”
Over and over and over!
You just can’t leave me the FUCK alone, can you?!

Don’t give me that tired shit…
You never meant anything you ever said, did you?
Oh, that’s right…Blame me for this bullshit!

So what if I might drink too much sometimes, lots of people do.
That don’t mean they’re alcoholics!
That don’t make me an alcoholic!

If you wanna see a fucking alcoholic, look at my old man!  Now… Dear old dad was a fucking alcoholic!

This is great… My mom bitched at him about everything too, just like you…
She wouldn’t shut up either…

You love me and still do but, you can’t watch me… What?… What!?
Die drunk?!
I’m not killing myself!
So I drink sometimes…big fucking deal!

You have to do what is best for you and the kids, but what about me dammit!?

It’s been hard lately, I can’t catch a break.
It doesn’t matter….
You have to go…?
Because I’m an…..alcoholic!?
Because I gamble a little?
Have you lost your fucking mind!?

You are afraid I might hurt “my” children? You think so, do you? 
I’ll show you, hurt…

Just remember, it was you that quit on us, not me!

You, pulled the plug. You, killed the switch. You, jumped the gun. You’re the one that gave up….
I didn’t give up…
I’m still here, ain’t I!?
Whaddayou mean, barely?
I don’t see the big deal, I just have a few beers every now and again and bet on a game, no biggie!
Everybody does it!

*slap* *slap*
*pity pot*

I don’t blame you for giving up on me, I guess I’d do the same “if” I was really an alcoholic, but I’m NOT!

I knew you was a whore when I married you…

I’m at my best with you, baby…
Don’t do this..
I’m sorry, honey…

You’re weak…..
You should have never given up.
I burned for you!
I ached for you!
I worked my fingers to the bone!
I couldn’t stop thinking about you!
And you don’t even care!
It’s, it’s…
Because, you think I’m an alcoholic…?!

It’s not my fault I goth laid off!
That son of a bitch just didn’t like me!
I couldn’t help that I was sick a lot!
Drinking don’t make me sick!

Go ahead, go to your mother’s; that bitch! Go and let her feed you and your fucker kids!

Shut the hell, up! Me and your mom ain’t fighting!

Whaddya mean she already does and has been for a long time!?
I gave you all my money!
Yes, hell I do!
I don’t gamble that much!

*slap*

I’ll do better, baby…
Don’t do this..
I’m sorry, honey…

I can’t help that it’s hard to find a job where people ain’t a buncha fuckers trying to take all the credit for my stuff!

*slap*
Don’t Fucking look at me like that… I ain’t your fucking mama…

You should have believed every word I said, forever.
I mean it as much now as I did then…
Well, things are harder now…
I know it’s not just me here…!

If you cared as much as you said you did, it wouldn’t matter what I was or what I was doing as long as I ain’t hurt anyone.
I ain’t hurting you!

Isaiidd… Shut the FUCK up, we ain’t fighting!!

*crack* *crack*

What was you saying, slut?
I told you to shut the FUCK up!
I’m fucking talking now…
LOOK AT ME!
Don’t slap my hand, bitch!
I’m tired of your same old bullshit!

You never care what I say!
Oh, I…have issues?! They’re only scratch tickets!
I can’t stay focused?
Oh, I’mmm the bad guy, I suppose?
And yoouuu don’t see anything getting better…
Because, you think…I’m an alcoholic and I gamble a little….

Oh, shut up!

I do it all for you and the kids, baby…
Don’t do this… I promise….
I’m sorry, honey…

Nobody gives a shit about me around here!
Fucking Daddy Bucks!
Gimme, gimme, need, want!
I gotta do everything myself!
Everybody is always all up in my business!
My freaking wife don’t even give a shit what she’s making me do!

*choke* *choke*

*die……

I told you to quit bitching at me…
You ain’t saying much now, are you?!

*sob* *pity*

Oh my god…
What have I done?
I’ll…. I’ll…. just tell ’em I was drunk, I didn’t know what I was doing…

No, mommy is just sleepy!
Put a blanket on her then if she fucking feels cold!

Christ sakes, shut up! I got a headache!

Stupid bitch….

It’s your fault you’re knocked the fuck out, not mine!

Ain’t nobody going no where…
This is your fucking home…
I’m your fucking husband!

You shouldn’t mess with me like that when I…. just got home….
You knew better…
It didn’t matter how many times I set your ass straight, you kept on and on…
…running that fucking mouth.

I’m trying, baby…
Don’t do this…
I’m sorry, honey…I promise I’ll do better…

Anyway, It’s your fault you wouldn’t shut up…
See what you made me do?

What about the kids…?

Come on, baby… Wake up.

…. Wake up.

*cough* *stir*

Thank God….

Honey, you fell down again…
Thank Jesus I was here.
Thank Jesus….

*slurp* *drink*

Repeat.