Dr. Yert

Dr. Yert said I needed to keep a journal or notebook or something about my feelings.

I think he’s gay or something.

When I’m at his office I always catch him looking at me weird and stuff.

Scribble scribble…look…stare….scratch next to his nose with his pencil….say “Hmph” then scribble scribble…over and over.

“You have to tell me about the dark things so we can bring them into the light” says he.

Stupid shit like that…

“I think about running over hitch-hikers sometimes” I said.

Just to see what he would do, you know.

Scribble scribble…look…stare….

….scratch next to his nose with his pencil….

I wish he’d knock that shit off, makes my damn nose itch when he does that all the time!

“Hmph”

….scribble scribble….

“I used to think about being a serial killer a lot, but I couldn’t decide if I wanted to be the stabbing kind, choking kind or sitting on a clock tower with a gun kind…”

“Hmph”

….scribble scribble….

“I think about….you know….sex……a lot” I added

No change in his face….

“Hmph”

….scribble scribble….

“Not the good kind of sex…the “bad” kind”

He looked up at this.

AHA! Got him! The sick, gay fucker!

“Explain, bad…” he asked.

I looked straight at him and said “Pain”

Scribble scribble…look up…stare….scratch next to his nose with his pencil….

“Hmph” then scribble scribble…

The fucking noise that pencil makes….over and over!!

“What do you keep scribbling on that pad, dude, it’s driving me nuts!” I said.

He didn’t answer me, just kept writing…

I looked down at the little notepad in my lap and studied all the little doodles and words I’d been scratching out during his little thinking spells….

A duck, a gun…Beetle Bailey…”Dr.Yert sux”….crazy crazy crazy, and “bat-shit”.

I got that “being stared at” feeling and looked up.

Yep, the gay bastard was checking out my shit, again.

Sick pervert.

He said “Do you think you’ll ever follow thru with any of your….impulses?”

“Hmph” I snorted

….scribble scribble….….”Bat shit crazy” wrote my pencil

….my nose itched so I scratched it…

The one thing that’s been bugging me the whole time that I’ve been coming to see this jerk off is that he just sits there with that big smudge on the mirror next to his head, and when I got up to wipe it off, he did to….

This guy is fucking weird…

“That’s it!” I thought….this guy can’t help me.

He stood up when I did.

“I gotta go” I said; my eyes on the floor….the pencil clinched tight in my trembling fist

“Don’t forget your diary” he said smiling as he stepped  from the mirror back into my body.

I wanted to shove this fucking pencil into his fucking gay throat!

I looked down at the notepad in our hand….

In perfect penmanship it read “I think choking would be the best”

…and right next to it, a doodle of a smiling Mickey Mouse choking Minnie….and the words;

“Stop us, please” and some squiggly lines….

I always favored being a stabber myself….