You look lost.
No, just looking around.
Not trying to be nosey but, you looking for anything particular?
No, not really… Well…
Well, what?
You’ll think I’m being stupid.
Hell, everyone is stupid now and again.
I make it an art form.
[laugh]
Tell me…
Don’t laugh….
I haven’t laughed in a long time. Well, I mean; at least not in a humorous way. I tend to find irony and ignorance more fucking hilarious than anything!
I’m about as ignorant as they come.
I’m older than you thus, I have been ignorant longer and with greater zeal.
Well, I am newly ignorant, which is way worse. Even after all the old people made mistakes and we seen it happen, we still do the same damn things.
The only things that actually change is the levels of tolerance and consequences
Tolerance goes up, consequences go down. .
Good point; Now, tell me, what are you looking for?
[outstretched palms]
Why I’m here….
What is the point of life?
Why life is full of struggles and pain.
What life-long friends have I made?
Do I, will I or can I ever hope to make a difference in anything?
What happens after I die, will I go to heaven… Will I burn in hell?
Is there a heaven, is there a hell?
So many answers I’m looking for…
[chin rubbing]
What does it matter?
What? How do you mean?
All the questions that you have… What does it matter?
I don’t understand what you’re saying.
You see!? I find that hilarious!
I don’t see why it’s so funny! These are real questions I have! I freaking worry about it; if I’m a good man, a good husband or dad, if I’m making people’s lives better…stuff like that.
You’re doing it to yourself.
[kicking at the dirt]
What?
You’re creating your own questions at triple the rate, NO! a hundred times the rate, that you can even hope or fantasize to find an answer! Why can’t such a prolific question maker, such as yourself, comprehend the fact that there is, has and NEVER WILL be an answer to or for anything…. Ever.
2+2?
1+1?
[serious, furrowed brow]
Those do not require answers. They and their like are certainties.
Isn’t a certainty an answer?
Nope. A certainty is known. An answer is fiction awaiting a cliff hanger ending.
…. You never really find out if it was the Butler or not but; no real evidence, only choice.
I mean…. think about it for a sec; Think of a question, here’s one; What is the capitol of Texas?
[glazed eyes]
Is Austin the answer or a certainty? Can an answer be a fact?
You’re losing me…
Why do you think there are phrases and words, such as; because… Whatever… In a minute…I don’t know or I give up?
I…. Don’t know…. I give up…
[shagrinning smart-ass]
“Because” there is no such thing as an answer…. TO ANYTHING.
I can’t….wont believe that. It’s impossible.
There is only certainty, unknown and ignorance…. The bastard child of the two.
Okay, great thinker, I see what you’re saying… Kinda.
There’s only one true certainty in this perceived reality that man can control to be painfully honest with you.
What’s that?
Free will….
Hmmm… Free will, you say.
Yep. Shakespeare had it right when he came up with “To be or not to be”. You notice that it is two questions and no answer. It is a choice, an unknown.
You’ve definitely given me food for thought. I’m not that deep of a thinker…
Your questions made me think as I was explaining them… Like you said earlier, does any of this really matter, I mean… anything?
I have to believe it does. It must.
Why? Why worry about it at all? How could any of this matter?!
Because, it matters to me that it matters to you.
To be or not to be….
That… Is the answer.
I’m certain of it….
Everything Hurts & I'm Dying 