Reflections Of A Monster: In Shadow

My life with ruin that began in light…

I had an unobstructed view down the road.

No need for direction…

It’s  all so exciting when you know where you’re going.

But….

There ARE monsters, that eat children.

If I had only known there were shadows…

I never would have stopped and looked back.

So, instead of moving on, straight and narrow….

I took the short, smooth road to hell…

It looked familiar; all pain and rage.

But….

I don’t remember living there.

I can’t recall passing thru.

But…. I know I’ve been there.

This is where the monsters live.

Know what I mean?

This place in hell is where I learned that big people make you cry and run…

A tortured child has many shields.

If I had only known there were shadows…

The sun in my face, a shadow at my back…

My shadow is heavy and dark and it screams in the light.

“Turn around and face me” it says.

“No; I can’t… I mustn’t” I plead in a child’s voice; all terror and shrieks.

On my way to hell, I turned from the light and took my eyes off the road ahead; so wide and bright, straight as a horizon.

Now….

I am lost in my shadows.

I have gone back from whence I have come; retracing old steps and stumbles.

Stepping over nightmares, wallowing in misery.

Did you know the road to hell is not paved with good intentions, like they say?

It’s paved with woe

It’s paved with pain.

It’s paved with child rape.

It’s bathed in shadows that dance and tear….

Monsters live in me…

If only I had known there were shadows behind me, I never would have stopped and looked back….

My shadow is the reflection of me without light; only form and no substance.

Unless you count fear as something real.

It is cold inside a child’s scream.

A child screaming from hell; that sounds just like me.

A scream that echoes thru the years and drives me from the light; still to this hour.

Into the shadows…

If only I had known there were shadows behind me, I never would have stopped and looked back….

To see who was screaming….

Shadow spills heavy, from light; a dread chain of sorrow

If only I had known there were shadows…

I never would have stayed….

and became a monster, myself.

Afraid of the dark and shadows

…. smiling faces that lie and bite.