This sounded like fun.
I stole these questions from this guy—–> Dragos Roua
I keep seeing all of these author interviews on WordPress.
I’m not an author, I am not published….well, I published my own e-Book but it is ranked like, 900,000 or something on Kindle.
I’m just a blogger hack with delusions of my own grandeur.
I get lucky with words sometimes….
First, as is my personality, I will give a smart-ass answer then a serious one; and so goes the typical interview of someone that is full of crap and is hopelessly and irrevocably narcissistic.
What Do You Do For A Living?
I am an over the road truck driver, which means I drive a semi-truck over the lower 48 states, delivering refrigerated and dry goods to your local Walmart Distribution centers and/or most everyone else…..Tyson Foods for example, and M&M Mars.
Who Do You Love?
God, Family and the USA!
No one really….I’m borderline-personality and anti-social and have no empathy or regard for other people’s feelings and needs.
That’s what everyone in my family keeps telling me so it must be true. I saw it on Facebook.
Do You Have Enough Money?
In my previous life I was filthy rich, so I know how it feels to be wealthy and omniscient.
I do not feel that way now. But, I do okay. I can still afford Subway during the week and Red Lobster twice a year.
Are You Healthy?
I feel healthy, even though I just got a stent put in my heart….
But, I still have my hypochondria and my ghost pains and I can’t remember if I went to the bathroom or not this morning.
Oh, I only have 7 prescriptions as of now so, I’m better than most.
Do You Think You Are a Good Person?
I am a legend in my own mind and I think I am quite wonderful.
Yes I am. If God would grant me the power and privilege, I would save the world.
How Old Are You?
The answer changes by the second….
Who Is Your Best Friend?
I do not have a best friend.
All of my friends are acquaintances and most of them are related to me….no, I have no best friends.
I know…y’all think I should have said my wife or my kids (token bullshit)
I don’t trust my wife because she has beady eyes and a low forehead and my kids don’t speak to me un less it starts with “Mother….” or “A***hole”
I prefer “Dad” but I will answer to almost anything.
I….am my best friend, but I don’t trust me either…I owe me LOTS of money!
What’s Your Childhood Dream?
To be a disc jockey.
I worked at my first radio station when I was 14 years old; WBBK [vinyl 45 rpm records and American Top 40 with Casey Kasem]
I had a pretend radio station studio built in my room.
I broadcast to an audience of 1.
It was hard rock for 2 hours!!!
Well, I only had a Van Halen and Boston album….
How Often Do You Laugh?
At myself or others?
I don’t laugh at people because they make me sad.
I laugh at myself because I am sad.
I cry when I am happy.
Babies laughing, puppies, the sky, the mountains, fly-fishing and large boobs…..dipped in baby oil…..and maybe a black light and some inscence…..and a slow saxophone.
Who Is Your Most Dangerous Enemy?
Trust and truck stop bathrooms
Where Do You Live?
In a semi-truck; somewhere between California and Virginia….sometimes in Kansas or Texas. Most times in Georgia or Louisiana when I’m not in Vermont or Utah on my way home to South Dakota or Montreal.
My wife lives in Louisiana.
I saw her boobs….
Do you think you’re Strong?
I am only a man.
I do what is necessary and sometimes what is required.
Yes, I am getting stronger.
God has not made me a super hero yet.
I like boobs….
What is The Most Important Thing you’ve done So Far?
Being the biological contributor to children that far exceeded any expectations I could ever have imagined.
What is The Most Stupid Thing you’ve done So Far?
Told my first lie.
Took that first drink of alcohol
Took my first drug
Not seeing what I was doing to the people around me, you know….when they still loved me and thought I was concerned about them…
Ha! Stupid asses!!!
Being said, biological contributor to children that far exceeded any expectations I could ever have imagined, then became an alcoholic and let someone else raise them….
No….wait, only if I can get anything out of it.
Not in public, at least…..anymore.
What Do You Fear The Most?
I fear that, if my kids ever forgive me and allow me back into their lives I will do something stupid.
It’s happened before….
Over and over and over….
What Is Your Favorite Word?
When Was The Last Time You Cried?
Editing my post “The Dying Rain” yesterday….
It affects me differently, every time I read it.
What Is The Best Thing That Could Happen To You Right Now?
Walk thru my grinning kids’ front door and have my grandbabies be glad to see me.
Find out that I have super powers and that God, does indeed, want me to save the world.
What Is The Worst Thing That Could Happen To You Right Now
Not learn anything new….
Picture Yourself 5 Years From Now:
Surrounded by family and friends; laughing and enjoying each other’s existence.
Celebrating the demise of Facebook and all it encompasses in human filth and degradation.
Don’t get me started or I’ll work myself into a funk and blow my freaking brains out.
What’s the First Thing you do In the Morning?
Pray and thank God for another day and another chance to prove to myself that I am as good a man as I believe myself to be and that everyone that wrote me off as a lost cause can KISS MY ASS!!!!
What Are You Thinking Just Before Going To Bed?
Did I take my medicine…?
Will I wake up?
If I’m really awake when I’m asleep and asleep when I appear to be awake?
Did I poop yet?
What Was the Highest Point you’ve ever been to?
1) Ted Nugent concert 1982….wait….No, KISS concert 1985….no wait….
2) When I am right and they finally realize it…..sweet savor.
If there’s One Thing in Your Life You Want To Change Right Now, What Is It?
Constantly struggling with the addictive behavior that feeds my self-contempt and inability to forgive myself for anything.
What Are You Proud Of?
Knowing that my desire to live my life serving the homeless and down-trodden is real and not a passing fancy.
Sum Up Your Life In One Sentence
“I wish I was an Oscar Mayer wiener”
“I should have paid more attention”
Name The Thing That Annoys You The Most
What Is Your No 1 Question To God?
“What were you thinking, giving us free will?”
Do You Have Secrets?
…and of course “If I told you I’d have to kill you”
What Makes You Laugh?
Everything that doesn’t make me cry.
Lightning, near death experiences, haunted houses and fresh lobster
Are You Happy?
I believe so.
I couldn’t really say…
I guess I am…
I’m pretty sure I am.
When I see Boobs…js.