Dentist + Fear + Imagination + Boredom = Post

Disclaimer: This is all you get today…..I was bored and goofy

“Mr. Clarke?”


The desk lady’s voice echoed across the small waiting room.

I looked up in the direction of the echo’s source and answered the half head peeking just above the patient window.

“Yes?” I respond in a quavering staccato

“Mr….. Clarke?” the echo repeated.

I put down the 3-year-old Ladies Home Journal I had been pretending to read and got to my feet, obeying the subconscious undertone that only nurses have and that exists only in waiting rooms and drivers license places.

“Come here” it said.

The half head grew as I approached the window.

It turned into a smiling, pretty, young face with shining eyes.

“Oh shit, she’s stoned” I thought.

“Dr. Torture will see you now” she said.

“Who?” I asked

“Dr. Thomas, you are here for Dr. Thomas right?” She clicked the computer, trying to hide the fact that she would be the last person to see me alive.

“Oh…” I said “Yes…Dr. Thomas”

She pointed to a door at her right and said with a smile “Right through there and Nancy will be waiting for you”

Waiting for me…..

I walked over to the big steel door.

It had monster teeth and red eyes…

..I stopped.

I fucking knew it….

That’s why I hate dentists….

They are all servants of the Devil.

“Password” the door growled, blood and guts dripping from its jagged teeth.

I didn’t say anything….“PASSWORD!” It said louder, Image“I don’t have all fucking day waiting on a pansy ass, going to the dentists cry baby; gimme the damn password!” It hissed.

“Obama Care!” I cried.

I didn’t know what else to say, it just…popped into my head…..sue me.

“You’re retarded…..aren’t you?” said the sympathetic devil door..

I thought for a second….

“Blue Cross Blue Shield!”

“You may enter” said the door with teeth.


The door sounded kinda disappointed, I mused.

The door crept open and I beheld a long narrow hallway, dripping with blood and guts.

It must have been a mile long, and it was spinning

I reached out to steady myself and blindly grabbed a man that was hanging upside down from the ceiling; his teeth were all ripped out and his lower jaw was missing. Plus, he had blood and guts….

The upside down hanging man was laughing…..dead person laughs.

“Witches! Witches!” He laughed, swinging to and fro….

I clamped my other hand over my mouth to stifle a scream and saw in my escalating terror that a woman in a pink cape was floating down the hallway towards me, her hair flowing out behind her like bat wings, blood and guts dripping and hanging from the arms reaching out to me….Reaching for my soul…..!

‘AAIIIEEEE!” I SCREAMED! (On the inside)                                                                         Image

The door behind me clanged shut when I started to step back in my fright…



“Witches! Witches!” the swinging man howled….

“Mr….Clarke?” inquired the pretty young nurse in pink scrubs with a smiling tooth stitched over one boob pocket.

The boob pocket said that she was the aforementioned, waiting Nancy.

I blinked….

The hallway of gore was gone…..

The hanging man was gone….

The door now only had a food pyramid poster on it.

“Mr….Clarke” she asked, non-commitally.

“Uh…yeah, that’s me…I’m sorry Ms. Nancy, dentists offices freak me out sometimes”


She giggled “That’s okay”

Taking me by the hand and turning, she began to lead me down the hall.

I almost spit out my tongue when I noticed that there was a blood-shot eyeball staring at me from the back of her head.

There was also a large meat cleaver in her back pocket, covered in blood and guts!

I tried to pull my hand free, but she just gripped me a little tighter and turned to me, smiled again “Come on” she giggled “It won’t be bad at all.”

lying bitch….

She turned away from me again, and I saw the red-eye wink at me.

We arrived at another big wooden door, this one strapped by steel bars…..and blood and guts.

I could hear muffled screams behind it.

“Help meee! For the love of G…’ CHOP!

There were bloody, rootless human teeth and gnawed jawbones for a knocker.

Nancy led me into a bright, clean, clinical looking room.

“The Doctor will be with you in a moment” the lying bitch said, with a smile covered in blood and guts.

When she walked away from me, the bloody eyeball winked at me again and for the first time I noticed that she wasn’t wearing pink scrubs, after-all!

It was freaking pink baby skin sewn together with human guts!

“Get it together man” I whispered to no one in particular.

imagesddt8I clamped my arms around myself, I’ve got to try to calm down and warm up.

It was freaking cold in here, man….cold as the grave.

“Jesus Christ, man get a grip!” I thought louder.

I sat down in the dentist chair that was covered in blood and guts.

My hands were sliding thru the guts, the smell of dead dried blood festering in my nostrils.

My stomach heaved….

Huge sharp spikes protruded from the seat, patches of human hair spattered across the head rest.

I squinted up at the ceiling above the chair and saw pieces of bone and teeth stuck in the panels of the ceiling.

I blinked….I swallowed.

The chamber of horrors was gone.

I smelled alcohol and bubble gum.

Dr. Thomas strode in smiling and sat on the little spinning chair next to my chair of death that all dentists have.

“Well…” he said, grinning down at me.

“Let’s take a look and see what we got” he said as he clicked the light on above his head.

The blinding light tore thru my eyes like a thousand smoldering ice picks!

I heard a man scream down the hall and the sound of cackling followed by what sounded like a chainsaw.


I let my guard down!!!


Dr. Thomas sprang high into the air, his bat wings beating at my face as he landed on my chest, his clawed feet digging into my big man titties, RIPPING AND TEARING at my bounteous flesh!

Dr. Thomas DDS …in my mind

He was spinning a huge battle axe around his head, its notched and pock marked edge slinging blood and guts all around the room in a cascade of blood and guts…..(shagrinned)

“MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!” DIE MOTHER FUCKER! DIE! He screamed! Laughing and spitting! His  perfectly aligned teeth gnashing and clashing!!!

“AAIIIEEEE!!!!” I SCREAMED as my hands danced futiley in the air, grasping and grabbing at my ball sack. I FOUGHT FOR MY LIFE!

Dr. Torture swung the huge axe down in a bloody arc, the mad glint shining “maddingly”(;p) from the one bloody eye in the middle of his forehead; his head covered in flames….foaming fluoride spittle spraying from between his clenched highly flossed teeth!!!

I could even hear a drill digging into someones teeth in the next room!!! The sucking of a vaccum was deafening!!!

“HELP ME FOR GODS SAKE!!!” I heard some one screaming; the smell of shit and terror made me gag, the breaking of glass made me…gag, too…..

“AAIIIEEEEEEE!!!!”!!!!!!! I screamed…over and over, forever and ever

“AAARRRGGGHHHHHH!” I screamed some more at a higher pitch and with more feeling!

I kicked his feet out from under him and as he toppled to the floor I ripped out my hidden automatic machine gun shotgun that had been blessed by the Pope and started pumping blazing hot, boiling holy water rounds into his body and…..

download (2)“Mr Clarke….?”

I blinked…..

The desk ladies voice echoed across the small waiting room.

I looked up in the direction of the echo’s source and answered the half head peeking just above the patient window.

“Yes?” I blinked again….

“Mr….. Clarke?” the echo repeated.

The other people in the waiting room all gave me that “You’re being called” look that you always get in a waiting room or Social Security place.

I put down the 3 year old Ladies Home Journal I had been pretending to read and got to my feet.

“Dr. Patel will see you now”

Dr. Torture Patel….


“Thank you” I said

I stood up, hoping no one would notice the small puddle in the seat.

….sweat, I think

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