With very much disappointment in myself, I am realizing that I have a looonnggg way to go to become a truly righteous man.
I also realize that I am MOST certainly prejudiced about this and feel wholly uncomfortable to be in the same room with this person.
I do not know why….
I’m disgusted that I am a hypocrite.
Gosh, I HATE hypocrites!!!
I am not a mean person, I am not a cruel person, I like people and generally, people like me. At least I think so, I haven’t been maced or tazed in years…
I am not shocked by that much, I am an American after-all and have a Facebook account loaded with crazy relatives, and I firmly believe in letting people live their own lives how they wish; thus, is the secret to happiness.
We really don’t have a choice here in this country anymore…
The new motto of the USA…..”DEAL WITH IT!!”
I do not know this dude that looks like a lady.
I have never met this lady that is really a dude, before.
He/she could be a wonderful caring person….IDK
But, do I care? Should I care? Why do I care? Does anybody really care?
I’m sure I do, because I’m a sensitive, caring guy, DAMMIT!!!
But that doesn’t have anything to do with the “creepy crawlies” I’m experiencing right now.
I don’t know why I’m like this or should I say, reacting like this.
So why, oh why am I disturbed by this person sitting at the table across from me?
I am very, very uncomfortable right now.
I feel like I am in a pit with sheer walls, a venomous serpent is also there, with no way out while I’m overdosing on caffiene….
Know what I mean?
The back of my neck is hot
My forehead feels hot
My pulse is beating in my ears.
I think I’m sweating on my laptop.
I feel like I’m getting physically ill….
I can’t stop grabbing furtive glances of this person, it’s kinda like looking at a terrible car wreck or accidently catching a glance of my naked grandma…
I can’t believe how uncomfortable I am!!!
I don’t like being this way!
Am I actually frightened….SCARED OF A……well, a person!?
Why does it bother me so much?
Is it an instinctual reaction to something that is not natural? Am I being an animal!?
This dude, that looks like a chick, is talking to me now. I am listening (and still typing this) but, I can’t look at….it? Him/her…AC/DC?
Victor/Victoria is less than 3 feet away from me and talking to me and I am actively trying to avoid eye contact.
I don’t feel contempt, I don’t feel anger or hate….I just feel….dirty.
I know that’s wrong…..I know it’s bad….I know it’s not Christian love and I haven’t investigated what my churches stance is on the subject. I know what they stand for and they won’t change on the basic tenants of some things.
I will have to ponder on this a while longer….
I just don’t understand why people can be so weird…..IS IT WEIRD?
I know Tootsie has to have some balls, figuratively or no….
It would take some HUGE JUEVOS to dress like that in a truck company, IN ARKANSAS!
IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!!!
Especially in those shoes…
Good. At least I can laugh at myself for being a dink and use my blog to explore my thoughts and feelings and work thru them.
It is excellent therapy…..almost as good as fasting and praying.
Hey, thanx for listening guys….and gals…or guy/gals.
It helped a lot.
I am trying, you know?
I’ll put more on my blog…when I am confronted with more personal bigotry and intolerance.
***Matthew 22: 36-40