Bitch Not

Remember me?
I used to be quite prolific on this forum of ours, for a wanna be blogger sans talent or education.
I ran into life, lately.
It’s funny how that happens, ain’t it?
You’re just walking around, doing your thing and BAM!!
Life reminds us that we are real.
Life reminds us that we are human and subject to external stimuli such as politicians, preachers, perverts and easily offended people.
God Bless America….
Life reminds us that although it goes on and on in whatever form it chooses i.e., bacteria, ashes to ashes and dust to space dust, we do not go along for the entire ride.
Life reminds us, over and over, that our bodies will not last forever and sometimes, they just can’t or won’t hold the ghost. No matter how much we pray, fast, repent or
sell the occasional kidney or cornea.

I had an 80% blockage in my heart.
They found it by accident.
I thought I was just getting checked out for a chest cold, I thoughI never get sick, you see.
I grew up on a pig farm. I am impervious to viruses and bacterium.
I have never had the flu.
I hardly ever get colds,
I can’t remember the last time I was ill that was not caused by Budweiser.
My wife gives me headaches, does that count?

“You need a stent”
This isn’t real.
This only happens to other people.
I was scared but, hey! I don’t’ have cancer….right?!
“No, you don’t have cancer”
Thank God for small favors, or perhaps a big one.
I have beloved that are fighting cancer as I type….I have no idea what it would cost in really real pain.

I recently saw a little blind boy, couldn’t have been more than 4 years old, celebrate stepping off a curb using his new blind person cane.
His mom was so excited for him and you would have thought he was Superman….the way they carried on.
Silly, lovely people….

I’m such an asshole sometimes… ungrateful asshole.
Guilt feels good.

I see healthy, energetic, talented people brought back to reality by disease, circumstances or just shitty luck.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen, with their bald heads and weight loss, blown off body parts and wheelchairs; their bankruptcy and suicides.

I won’t bitch about my heart stent.
And that goes completely against my nature….about anything, except maybe getting used to this new keyboard.
I have no right to bitch; not over really real stuff.

My heart is fixed, for the time being.
I still have to take pills and I still have to eat like a caveman that hasn’t discovered fire.

I watched the whole procedure as the total strangers invaded my body.
I watched my smoky gray heart on a black and white TV with a little squiggly line bouncing around.
I was amazed when they told me that they would be inserting the stent catheter into my wrist vein to get to my heart.
“But….my heart is in my chest”
I re-educated the physician, pointing to the center of my chest.
The Doctor in Sponge Bob scrubs poked me in the chest, a little right of my poking finger and said “Yep, I’ve seen a few and it’s more like right here.”
Smart ass Doctor with all of his thousands of surgeries and 500 years of school! I know where my damn heart i! It was in my freaking throat!

Do you know what the doctor said during my procedure?
DO YOU!!??
Dr Sponge Bob quotes: I swear TO GOD!!!
“Crap, that isn’t right, I don’t think that;s supposed to spurt like that”
“Hold on Trey, this is gonna hurt like hell”
“Nurse, cut off his pain meds, he’s a tough guy”
“Now where is that dang heart you were pointing at?”
“Hmmph, I think I’m done”

Ha. Ha. Ha

Never let the doctors know you have a sense of humor as sick as theirs.
Reminded me…..Doctors are human, too.
I guess that’s what scared me the most during the whole procedure, I reckon….and afterwards for sure; Kinda like a post operative flinch.
My doctor was a human. Wow….a really real person.
But, it sure helped to have a doctor that laughed when I cussed him out.

It takes a special kind of person to be a doctor, nurse or cop.
Try to remember what it takes to care for a sick hubby, wife or child.
Gets old quick, don’t it.
Now do it for 50 plus years with every conceivable ailment known to man occurring without going bat-shit from all of the sorrow, pain and suffering that you can’t do a damn thing to alleviate other than making them comfortable….
Oh, and try not to curse or blame God.

Now that I think about it, that’s when I know that I won’t have long to live;
When I hear the doctors say “We’re just trying to keep him as comfortable as possible”
I’ll take a cussing, condescending surgeon any day, thank ye.

Anyways, let’s wrap this up, I gotta go to work….yes, on a Sunday.
Yes, I am a sinner.
Yes, I am a pagan heretic…

I got my stent. Only cost me $34,342.00
My heart is fine.
I am broke.
My old laptop crashed, that’s why you haven’t heard from me as consistently as you need to.
I got back ahead a little bit and took a chance and bought my own truck; don’t be crazy, I’m leasing it.
I can’t afford $130,000!

New bionic heart…taking chances!
Oh, if any of you are new to my blog I drive an 18 wheeler for a living. Yes, all 48 states…except NYC metro.
Only crazy people go there.
Oh, I’m on a Hopi Reservation somewhere in Arizona, right now.

I get to see places most people only read about.
And yes….this country is beautiful.
Just ignore the politicians, litter, abandoned towns and buildings and places where you grew up that are gone and where there’s a parking lot or Walmart there, now.

I’m not gonna bitch.
I’m pretty lucky, really.
I’ve been blessed to put up with other humans on my earth for 51 years and survived…to a point.

I’ll try and remember…..
I am not a blind 4 year old on a curb….
But, I could have been.
You could have been.

Sunday Message: Nothing is trivial

p.s: I’m glad to be writing again. Even if it’s on this stupid Nextbook keyboard that took 30 minutes longer to type out this post than it should have…..

p.s2: I will not bitch

4 thoughts on “Bitch Not”

  1. Sorry to hear about your stent, but it will save your life. Sometimes it’s hard to put things into proportion, and you’re doing a good job of doing it through comparisons with other people’s problems. Do you have any kind of health insurance? Follow a healthy diet and keep well.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s