Will Not….ok

I came here against my will, kinda.

I came here to face trials, joy, pain, ecstasy, suffering and the other individual souls sharing this world.

That’s what I was told, in the beginning.

After the war…

It’s not quite what I was led to believe.

But…. I have to admit…since I’ve decided to stay….

Sometimes, I have joy.

Sometimes, I have trials.

Sometimes I double dip on purpose….

But, I always suffer…

For the loss of one thing and the gaining of others; contrary as it could be. Catch 22

I am here against my will.

It’s not the way I thought it would be.

When I was born into the world of men I became part of a collective conscience.

A consciousness capable of ignorance and hate; love and honor.

Dueling banjos….pickin and a’grin’n

I am human…dammit.

Against my will…

My individuality was lost when they gave me a name.

When I got the first year under my belt, I forgot how to speak like Angel’s.

My baby footprint is proof that I had arrived; been measured and weighed, found acceptable but, wanting in most regards.

A part of the hive…buzz kill

I became part of a family tree whose roots suck the life out of me.

Yes…

I had a choice to come here.

I knew it would be a lottery.

I knew it could end up a gamble.

I didn’t know it’d be like this.

Fantastia and Fear…

I dwelt in envy and jealousy at the beginning, and shook my fat fist and fat feet at the sky, lying there in my baby bed.

I am a poison leaf on a dying branch…

I’ve spit on the earth, a time or two.

I am human, through no fault of mine own….

I was there at the beginning, as were we all; without number or time.

I’ve seen you before.

I was a valiant warrior in the War for Heaven, as were you, and you and you.

We were told that to become MAN was our reward, our battle right, our “spoils”…

You know why I came…?

Down here, I mean…?

The reason I am here, to face trials, joy, pain, ecstasy, suffering and the other individual souls sharing this world?

To help bring to pass the immortality and joy of man.

The Will of the Father.

This is what I was told, and it’s got me thru it all, up to this point:.

But, I am human…

Against my will….

But, aware of what must be done.

He told me;

“Remember, my child. The most important thing in the world, is not of the world.”

It’s what I believe.

It’s what keeps me going.

Going home…One glad morning when this life is o’er…

I’ll fly away in the mornin’…

Back where we all began.