I am a middle aged man, if 52 is considered middle age.
I don’t know the guidelines or rules about that shit but, for sure, I think I’m going crazy.
I complain, constantly.
I tease and torment, constantly….probably an ego trip.
I feel resentment, constantly.
Weird part is that I realize it but, I’m not an asshole.
I know, I know.
I’ve been drinking a 12 pack of beer every afternoon for the last 3 months, and I don’t know why.
Yes, I do.
I come home after work, I plug in all of my mobile goodies and boot up the laptop and pop open a beer and deal with my anxiety.
Today….with my ungrateful family (in my own mind).
It’s been raining here all day and I knew that it was boring at home for them so, I ordered them pizza and stuff….a surprise, I had hoped.
They ate most of the hot wings and left me one. piece. of. pizza out of a 12″ pizza.
They ate ALL OF THE LAVA CAKE! 3 of them!!!
I cannot tolerate inconsiderate, discourteous people.
I am like Hannibal Lecter in this sense; “I would not have had that happen to you. Discourtesy is unspeakably ugly to me.”
I need to drink more beer.
I don’t want to eat the last piece of pizza….
Principle and pride.
I don’t want to eat any of the left over wings, either….
Principle, pride and SPITE
I am not eating the one. slice. of. pizza.
It will mold before I touch it.
I think(know)they’re taking advantage of me but, it could just be in my mind.
Problem is, my mind controls me.
It’s the voices in my head that make too much noise.
They’re in on it too, now that I think about it.
The voices and the ungrateful fuckers….
I read about Buddha and Eckhart Tolle.
I see what they’re saying but, what if what they’re saying is true or logical?
Buddha is a fuck stick. Crazy bastard.
I’m losing my shit.
It’s a gradual process……
…….the slipping away part.
I hate to see me go crazy.
I used to be…..
I used to be…..
I am a good person but, there are issues…..apparently…..obviously.
I’m so mad about the pizza and chicken wings that I’m not even gonna sleep in my bed tonight.
I’m gonna sleep in my truck.
Listening to the ungrateful fuckers walking around, talking about me…..
I know they are….
Go home, Trey.
Over and over….
It never. Never. Stops.