Denial Is Not A River

I battle with religion.
The man made kind.

I spend more time pondering the reality, efficacy and presence of God, than is healthy in a normal person; at least my perception of what would presently entail the designation of a normal person.

My idea of a normal person, for the sake of continuity and comparison in this post, will heretofore consist of: 2 parts Sheriff Andy Taylor, 2 parts Perry Mason, 2 parts Chuck Heston, 2 parts Charles Ingalls, 1 part Bruce Lee and one part me.

I can’t forget me; no matter how much I try.
I swear to God….but, in a good way.
I would have added my dad as a part of me but, he was a sociopathic psychopath during my puerile, innocent years, so I try to forget that part.
Don’t remember it anymore, really. 
In his defense, his “insanity” ebbed as he got older and thank God, he mellowed with age.

A good finish outshines a bad start.

I wonder why I was so obsessed with Jesus and all that stuff when I was a young’un….
I’m telling y’all, I was drawing sketches of Jesus on the cross, before I was in the 2nd grade! 
Hundreds of pictures!

I was just weird, I guess. 

I have always been worried about dying…


Hell, heaven, sin, the devil, the Holy Ghost….you know, normal Bible Belt childhood terrors.
As far back as I can remember, it’s always been there; the fear, the doubt, the surety of it all.
Is it real? Was it real?

I didn’t know, at least until I got older, that I had no real faith of any merit for stuff like this Christian hub bub.

I mean, I believe in Jesus, God, and the Holy Ghost.  
My Granny told me that he was real and is watching over me; I also knew that God was watching, and y’all know what that means….
If I was a bad boy, I’d burn in hell forever and the day after that; say hallelujah.

I know Jesus was a real man….a REAL man.

And I believe that he wasn’t perfect, if he WAS a real man.

That’s what made him who is/was in our current eyes.

He overcame the temptations OF being a natural, normal man.

Like I said; The finish outshines the start.

As a Latter-Day Saint aka Mormon, I believe that Joseph Smith was called of God. 

In case y’all didn’t know, He’s the founder of the church I’m in.

That’s what makes it all so believable to me. So true. 

Joseph Smith was a flawed man.

Another question: Was Jesus really the ACTUAL Son of God?
I mean, I was told that I am also a son of God but I also know that I’m the son of Bobby.

I was told I was created in Gods image. 
It’s in the big book, man! 

The “Book” most Christians accept as scripture, I mean.

Here’s the rub though, the crap in my fan. 
This is a really real world, dude.

I’m pretty sure it was really real back during Jesus’ day, with the Roman Empire and all that.
No cars, no planes, no phones, no grocery stores, no gps, no printing type, no mail….

We have to try and wrap our heads around the fact that this was over 2049 years ago, approximately. 

We’ve only lost our fear of taking baths within the last 150 years; seriously.

We used to think dirty and stinky was healthy (for the love of God). 
It hasn’t been that long since we threw rocks at the moon.

Out of fear! 

People actually think the earth is still flat…

I will guarantee you that the religions, churches and translations of Jesus’ teachings in our day, right now, are NOT what he taught, verbatim.

Jesus was a man living in a different time.


So was this man, Joseph Smith. 

We keep forgetting, or probably most likely, ignoring that the time of “The Christ” is a time that was ancient. We have BEEN TAUGHT by flawed, “learned” men that try to interpret partial, ancient, obscure teachings, that they or someone else stumbled across in some long lost ancient book, or had to have been literally dug up out of stone, sand or a grave; All to be “translated” in their own understanding.

ASSUMING that they can possibly interpret these discoveries, under the pretext that our present languages, which are bastardized and butchered anyhow, will be a faithful attempt from the original dialect, that is no longer actually spoken or written as far as my limited knowledge is aware of, to the languages we currently use that isn’t the same language we ACTUALLY used a mere 300 years ago.

How could we possibly comprehend with our present mindsets and life situations, how could we POSSIBLY have a clue, what in the HECK they were trying to explain or teach over 2049 YEARS AGO!!

They were riding donkeys back then.
On purpose! 
Like I said earlier, they had no idea that taking a bath was a good thing.




Do we actually think that the so called records and witness of Jesus’ teachings from so long ago, that have supposedly been relayed from person to person, shore to shore, from papyrus to paper….do we actually trust that none of his lessons or their true content weren’t revised, embellished, omitted or guessed at?

C’mon people. These are humans we’re talking about.

Have you ever really paid attention to mankind?

We are all about fitting our lives and understandings into narratives that are comfortable and familiar….

Examples that I can think of; being a human myself….

[Scene 1: 2 men in dark , candle lit , acrid stone room, or cave….or desert tent]

“I can’t remember what he said after that” 
“That Jesus fellow.

“I can’t remember how he actually said it, my dang ink smeared” 
“Do yer best. No one cares, just the guys paying us” 

“Whatever makes good copy”

I’ll guarantee you right now; if Jesus was handed a current bible, he wouldn’t recognize anything.

“That’s not what I meant” Jesus would say.

“You’re waay off!” 

“This is all wrong, you had to have been there, you can’t just make up stuff to fill blanks” he’d say.

“Who wrote this?” says Jesus, as he hands the book back to you.
“Prophets & apostles” we’d say. 
Then he’d laugh like a crazy person and say “Here, sit down friend and I’ll tell you what I meant”

Pray, ponder, meditate.


Reflect on what you KNOW is right and just. 

The moral compass we were all born with, Blessed with, should be your guide.

I say “were” because our moral compass gets ignored as we get older.

Sometimes it just won’t work in certain situations….or the aforementioned comfortable narratives.

Well, at least we have the free agency to make that choice.

Bad, good or indifferent; indifference being , which I believe is worse.

Be a good person, love yourself and your neighbor; do not cause sadness or pain; protect the weak and uplift the down-trodden. 

This is what I BELIEVE the MAN Jesus taught or meant.

Common sense, common courtesy, faith, love and charity.

That is all
It’s common sense. 

Do the right thing.

In my minds eye I can see that Jesus would sit back, clap his hands and say….

“Simple, huh?” 

Well, evidently not, Lord.

Evidently, not.

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