Curtain 1

Something changed in me today.

I knew…..felt, when it happened.

Yes, it was a physical event.

Maybe a transition?

But, it was definitely a feeling.

I honestly hope it’s not permanent.

Maybe it’s the holidays. Maybe it’s my psyche. Maybe, it’s a little bit of everything thrown into my life pot & simmering into crazy stew….

Maybe, it’s all normal and crazy is just a descriptive term for trying to grasp when normal FEELS wrong but that’s just normal the whole time.

OMG. Maybe there’s no such thing as crazy….

Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be…

Anywho.

When my dad said that he did not give a fuck, he did not.

You knew it. Just like the sunrise or set.

And any or all attempts, if you wanted to TRY, just for the hell of it, would be for naught.

An honestly, truly wasted effort on your part.

I never wanted to be that way because I know that you’re supposed to give a fuck about things; at least I think you are….

It’s important to care about things, I believed….

Believe-duh.

It’s why we experience empathy…anger….righteousness or millions upon millions of other sub-second emotions and/or assumptions.

Well, I don’t anymore.

Maybe Dad was right.

Maybe caring too long about anything is a wasted effort.

Like I said, I felt it when it happened.

I literally don’t give a fuck anymore.

I’m sure I will briefly still care about things because I am me, and I’m sure I will briefly still hope things will work out for us all but…..

If it doesn’t…..

Well…..

I just won’t give a fuck.

I refuse.