Full of Myself circa 2014


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Well……?

It’s officially 2014.

PFFFTTT!

I don’t feel any different.

I am much handsomer than yesterday, but that is a daily occurrence and I am no longer surprised.

I have come to accept the fact that my beauty and ego have no bounds.

I wonder how much more awesome I will become this year?

Up to this point in my life I never expected to ……wait…..

Of course I expected to be more awesomer.

I am going into this New Year with a more positive attitude than I already have.

This is much more difficult than you meager peasants may think, since when you abide on the level of perfection that I do…. I must admit, in my awesomer humble opinion, that it is something of a job to perfect perfection.

I have decided that I will tackle each problem that arises this year with tact, fervor and the best lawyers money can buy.Image

I have decided that I am in an all out war with Starbucks and that under my inspired leadership, occasional muggings and compromising photo’s of Starbucks corporate heads, I will be able to lower their prices and create my own recipe. I will call it “Mocha Trey Latte’ with a double shot of AWESOME.

It will also come with either a Bagel or Croissant.

See….it’s already started to get awesomer. I spelled ‘Croissant’ without spell-check.

Hmmmm……I may have to get a grip on this awesome explosion thingee…..

At this rate I will burst into bubbles and rainbows.

I have decided to allow the Smithsonian and Mayo Clinic to study me…..For an obnoxious fee.

They contacted me after they received my investigations and self-diagnosis of Narcissistic Paranoid Hypochondrial Nymphomania with Schizoid tendencies.

Its cutting edge science they said…..Image

I have also submitted a paper to the Joyeuse Encyclopédie Anecdotique de la Gastronomie explaining that Baloney sammiches are the perfect food……as long as there is a zesty garlic dill pickle on the side….

Mmmmm….

Okay….So I woke up in a fantasy world this morning.

But that’s okay. I visit there frequently.

In this world that I have created I am the king.

I go there when times are tough or when I just need some time to sort things out.

I always return to this awake place in a much better humor and with a better outlook.

In my mind, I am perfect.

In my mind, I know no defeat.Image

In my mind, all things are possible.

In my mind, what can be dreamed up can be created.

In my mind, there is a big door that keeps out all bad things.

Of course I can hear the bad things on the other side of the door, but my door gives me all the time I need to regain my strength and prepare my own strategy for counter-attacks.

In my mind, I am the slayer of bad things.

So do yourself a solid and visit your fantasy worlds a little more frequently this year.

You can make it anything you want…..

I made mine AWESOME…….

9 thoughts on “Full of Myself circa 2014

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  1. Yep, escaping into fantasy land works – have practiced it and still do particularly around the hour of major Lotto Draws :D. Kidding aside, it’s a good coping mechanism. When it comes to Starbucks the Australians have made fantasy into reality: closed most Starbucks outlets. I mean what’s a lover of real good coffee to do but to stamp out the weak competition 😀

  2. Hehehe..somehow it’s kinda peculiar to envision you with bubbles and rainbows 😉
    I like your idea of frequenting our own special places to gain back strength, for rest and to just take a break!
    As long as it’s a good sort of place…I’ve been to the not so good places before and those can lull you into deep sleep and then you’re kinda stuck!
    Have a great year, Trey!

  3. Trey – You are off to a great start this year. Keep up the good work. Be careful with self-diagnoses, okay. They can lock you up for less! This is a blog I absolutely must share with Tom. He loves your humor. (I won’t tell you that he said, “Sheri, do you really follow this guy and read his work?” Tom thinks I’m far more serious and academic. You, Trey, gave me reason to find some silliness in the world today.

  4. I try to only step out of fantasy when I’m working. And i don’t even always manage that. Yey, for fantasy worlds where awesomeness of all sorts can be achieved. Now to try pitting that into practice. 🙂 x

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